My final breath, a sigh

Accepting the inevitable

I had neither time nor patience
and this I so relayed,
annoyance being the tone I used
but still the stranger stayed.

I bid him sit if stay he must
offering him a chair,
this he declined without a word
but with a steely glare.

That chilled my bones to marrows core
withering my very soul,
a shadow crossing o'er my heart
a shadow black as coal.

It was then I knew my time was his
he'd called to still the hands,
to lead me from this mortal coil
and to the promised lands.

So silently I left with him
my final breath a sigh,
of sadness that my life was done
and this my time to die...

Reviews

[Mistress Munxroe]

Oh my! Very chilling, many ways to interpret as well! They rhyming is excellent. I try to write poetry. I'm lucky a few times, but they always turn into prose! Thanks for sharing!

[Gee]

Thank you MM. I just post whatever shite, piffle, comes into my head, most of my scribbling being done in the hour or so before popping off to work.

[Mistress Munxroe]

Well it was exccellently done! Yes I made up my own word! lol

[Livvy Moore]

I love the flow of this piece! It's very easy to say aloud, without tripping over the words. It's got an excellent rhythm too. And the rhyming! I can never manage poems that rhyme, so when I find them, they always astound me.

This piece is somehow both whimsical and... mm, what's the word? Deep? Weighty? Weighty sounds good. Whimsical and weighty. And very beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing!

[Gee]

Thank you for your kind words Livvy

[emmajoy]

How you can create such a near jolly rhythmic ring to such a dark subject amazes me, Gree!. You use great language to state the obvious but somehow make light of it! Perhaps we drift into acceptance rather than fight i? Fine language, come what may.!

[Gee]

Thank you Miss EmmaJ.
I will leave gladly with the old reaper when my time is up but need to see my child happily married and settled before accepting his hand.
Hope all is well with you and any, all news received is nothing but good.
Have a nice day.......imagine me saying that as I serve you a platter of food that would feed a small, third world country for 3 days, and you, dressed up like the old fella from Dukes of Hazard, ignoring me completely, fully focused on one thing only, scoffing what is before you and reloading the plate. BMI 65

[Gee]

How terribly rude me, thank you :))

[Gee]

Jeepers, rude of me

[emmajoy]

smiling, manners comes to she who waits and is pretty bad at remembering until three years later! read moresmiling, manners comes to she who waits and is pretty bad at remembering until three years later!

Plates should be discarded: use palms, use less food?!

[emmajoy]

Just realised i forgot !!!! Many thanks for asking re things in Italy..nothing new at present. Bless you.

[Ms Paragon]

It made me shiver.Great use of language.Well done!

[Gee]

Goooooooooooooood morning Ms P. Hope all is well with you.
Thank you kindly for both reading and commenting :))

[Ms Paragon]

My pleasure!Enjoy your Sunday!

[Gee]

Thank you, you too

[Tina Louise UK]

Gave me chills...nicely done! :) x

[Gee]

Thank you Tina

[Papaya]

I can see I read this a year ago but it still holds. Beautifully written.

[Gee]

Thank you..

[J. B.]

Very "Dickenson" of you :) But I did enjoy this and the simple meter used with olde English slang. :) well done.

[Gee]

Cheers JB, thanks for reading

[Stella Armour]

I would have kicked him out and told him where to go lol

loved the flow and rhyme :)

[Gee]

Thank you Stella

[Chris Shaw]

Ah the grim reaper, persistant little pest wasn't he? You offered him a chair? We all have to go one day, but I'd much rather not share my final breath with him. Nicely told narrative Gee. An entertaining read.

[Gee]

Thank oh Christine

[Gee]

Grrrrrrr.........you

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Oh nooh the grim reaper but don't die on us yet for your poem if u write like this is just too awesome. Flows so well, rhymed marvellously too. I'm awed by this imaginative poem. I tink it is a masterpiece. Kudos.


I'm quite a newbie here, Pleez do review, write your thoughts under my newest poem too. I like interactives , like making friends and am used to exchange of comments.

[Gee]

Thank you..

[Chris Shaw]

Is that my old friend zay zay from other pastures?

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Oh my tell me this is u Christine, not only your poem is exceptional, rather u are soo beautiful. So great to see your pic. Yes it's me zay, your old pal, glad to meet u here too.

[Chris Shaw]

Not me in the pic, I will message you Zay. I left a comment on Gee's poem and noticed your name.