Simple words on the passing and mourning process of a mother.
4th anniversary, on 9th April, of mum toodling off to get some well deserved pain free peace.
Wash every face with mournful tears
let solemn silence fill all ears,
have time stand still to mark the day
a mother died, passed away.
Draw a veil across the sun
inform the birds no song be sung,
bow down all heads in silent prayer
for she is gone, no longer there.
Let choirs of angels sing their love
and carry high her soul above,
then cherubs tend and for her care
until the time to join her there.
Dry every face of mournful tears
may celebration fill all ears,
remove the world from mute and pause
each broken heart beat out applause.
Unveil the sun tell all birds sing
rejoice in what all mothers bring,
a love unbounded, true and deep
eternally in each heart to keep.
"let solemn silence fill all ears, .." - class image here - absolute nothingness filling the voids - very apt for this write.
i like the way the whole write swings around this fulcrum
"Let choirs of angels sing their love,
and carry high her soul above,
then cherubs tend and for her care,
until the time to join her there. " - as a fulcrum its quite stunning and clever word arranging too.
The fourth stanza reminded me of the New Orleans style funerals with the jazz bands accompanying - a fine celebratory verse - of a life well lived.
The end stanza brings us back to serene poignancy and allows the reader to carry on but with a new memory in our hearts forever.
Its a very well penned memorial Gee. Really... sound as...
:))
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks Anto,nice to get your seal of approval,B...............
My mother in law passed away October of last year. This poem reminded me of the light hearted feelings and sorrow I felt. It wa srefreshing to read. Pen on.
This is absolutely amazing!! No other words for it than fantastic..i could see it playing out in my head as i read it and very few things i read have that capability recently...this belongs in an actual book. Full marks and shared, love it as sad as it is. Stop the clocks has same rythem an i love both..just read it to my partner who wad also imporessed :)
Thanks,you're very kind.This was written not long after reading Funeral Blues (stop the clocks) by W.. read moreThanks,you're very kind.This was written not long after reading Funeral Blues (stop the clocks) by WH Auden,which is my favourite poem(not that I read many).Like many on here I post quite a few bits and bobs but there is really only this and "Give me to the summers breeze" which I would say I'm really happy with.I guess we all have personal favourites when it comes to our own writing.This poem shows,to me anyways,that simple rhyming verse can be equally appealing,affective as any of the "clever"stuff.Again thank you.
8 Years Ago
This is clever in that in simple words,without the faff, you have created something so sad..yet kind.. read moreThis is clever in that in simple words,without the faff, you have created something so sad..yet kinda positive as well with a kovely flow that really brings it to life. Favourite of mine so far,love it!!...mskes me want to redo mine though lol, feels totally inadeqate next to this but thats wfat this sites about,having your eyes opened and learning.thank you for thast experirnce :)
8 Years Ago
You'll probably revisit all of your poems over time and alter slightly,everybody does I'd imagine.As.. read moreYou'll probably revisit all of your poems over time and alter slightly,everybody does I'd imagine.As for comparisons,write for yourself and if you're happy let it be,we are all so different.This site improves each of us to some extent.Thank you again.Have a good evening,take care.
This was deep. Emotional and well expressed. A mothers love is unconditional, and when it's her resting time we do weep, but her memory lives on eternally in our hearts. There is no one like mother. She is beyond compare. Beautifully written.
Keep writing!
oh Gee...this is heartbreaking and uplifting all at the same time...the two stanzas brings your hopes back up. Makes me think of an imprint that might have been left on your soul from the spirit of your mother. I don't know. Either way, maybe it's just you with wisdom knowing that she would want you to sing again and not be sad, it is a beautiful poem. I can relate as you know to the loss of a parent.
Thanks Jesse.My mum is still alive and kicking,my old man dead,but he cleared off when I was but a t.. read moreThanks Jesse.My mum is still alive and kicking,my old man dead,but he cleared off when I was but a toddler, with an arse the size of a shirt button.I actually wrote this after listening to the eulogy from " four weddings and a funeral".Not a patch on that I know but this to me is one of my better efforts along with "Give me to the summers breeze"(which is about the scattering of a dead loved ones ashes, from their point of view !!)Again thanks
8 Years Ago
Wow, it sounded so real...well kudos to convincing me...you had my heart in the wringer. lol Very n.. read moreWow, it sounded so real...well kudos to convincing me...you had my heart in the wringer. lol Very nice work Gee.
The respect you have given to a mother in this poem is heart warming, I lost my mother not too long ago, so I am deeply touched as though you wrote her an eulogy, thankyou.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
So sorry for your loss Eliot,but I am glad this warmed your heart a wee bit.Thank you and take care.
My friend, I just shared this on FB with family and friends with the following message.. "A beautiful reflection on mourning and death by a good, albeit new, friend. Have a read, this guy is good! "
Cheers Dan,you're too kind.For a fella who totally neglected his education the comments you have mad.. read moreCheers Dan,you're too kind.For a fella who totally neglected his education the comments you have made are very humbling..this is what I'd expect to read under the poems of the more talented folk on here.I guess praise sits a wee bit uneasily with me because I view my own writing as mainly simple rhyming verse that can be easily understood by whoever stumbles upon it.I hope your friends are not overly disappointed.Again,thank you.
9 Years Ago
haha, well we don't want you uneasy,, ok,, you suck,, better? haha,, just kidding,, You definitely .. read morehaha, well we don't want you uneasy,, ok,, you suck,, better? haha,, just kidding,, You definitely can write,, to be honest, i must say that your work might suffer the same problem mine does, other than my infrequency,, a certain uneveness, you can write very good poems but i wonder if sometimes, not often, mind you, maybe you don't push you talent enough,, but even then, it's better than a lot of what i read.
9 Years Ago
Most of my poems are a very quick write,either before I leave for work, or at break times,idling mom.. read moreMost of my poems are a very quick write,either before I leave for work, or at break times,idling moments.I usually pick up on something said on the tv or radio then off I go.The poem above was written after hearing the eulogy in Four Wedding and a Funeral(I think written by WH Auden)My 15 year old daughter thinks I'm a nerd,although,she sometimes reads the odd one and gives grudging praise(I do the same when helping coach her footie team,lol)Anyway,I like the "you suck"comment,that sits well and amuses me greatly.Have a great weekend and thank you sincerely for all of your kind words.Take care.
Devoted family man and lover of life.
Simply written, easily understood "stuff" for those without code breaking skills. You will NEVER need Google to understand me:)
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