Little Miss Muffet,2014

Updated version of an old English nursery rhyme

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
eating her curds and whey,
when along came a farmer,
a right rustic charmer,
who immediately wooed, made a play.

He plied her with wine,
"have more you'll be fine,"
before hiding his sausage inside,
then when he was done having his fun,
he left thanking her for the ride.

NOW.............

Pregnant Miss Muffet is having to rough it
'cos dads thrown her out on the street,
and the smooth rustic charmer who did this to harm her
has legged it, was quick on his feet.

So the moral of this is don't ever kiss
or open your legs 'cos you're flattered,
as with a kid on the way and nowhere to stay
your life could be properly shattered.

Author's Note

An oldie given an airing

Reviews

[David Lewis Paget]

That's a great little piece of whimsy. It would be so much better if you arranged it in stanzas though.

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey,
When along came a farmer, a right rustic charmer,
Who immediately wooed, made a play.

[Gee]

Have just this moment finished reading one of your poems,brilliant.Haven't got a clue what a stanza is,thought it was a German tank,but will take on board any comments,advice you can shovel my way.Thanks for reading.

[ANTO]

Stanzas are groups of lines usually Gee mate - verses, we might call them too, as David kindly shows an example (a 4 line group/stanza) - they aid the reader and make the work look good. Presentation is part of the whole package.

[Gee]

Cheers Anto.I suppose I should take more notice of the presentation,no good putting a t**d in an Armani suit,wouldn't give the required effect.It's good that people like yourself actually offer advice and don't just read,think"that's shite"but then post a comment to massage the ego of the poet.Keep up the good work.

[ANTO]

Thats a nice thing to say mate - Its hard to critique without fearing blowing out the flame Gee - but we are all learning mate, if you want you can PM me and I'll show you some sites I use to learn.

[Gee]

Might well take you up on that in the future,depends on how frustrated I get with myself.With regards to reviewing I tend to shy away from speaking my mind because people very rarely want any negativity,constructive or not,whereas I'm at an age where it doesn't bother my arse.To use an extremely over used and seldom meant"Americanism",have a good day.

[ANTO]

No problems - your welcome

[andrew mitchell]

Nice to see you visit David lol keeping an eye on things lol:)

[Great Aunt Astri]

And, boys, if you go to too many learning sites, you are in danger of losing your originality! Gee, I liked your poem just the way you wrote it!!!!!!

[Gee]

Again thank you

[Lorry]

Love it. It's about time the classics were modernised for todays market. Little red riding hoodie, Jack and Jill going on the pill, Oh, I better stop now before they come take me away.

[Gee]

Right lets get on it, I've done Georgie Porgie and Humpty Dumpty, I'll have a go at Jack and Jill.....thanks for reading, reviewing

[andrew mitchell]

Just great gee now I'll never pick up Miss Muffet, you've blown my cover lol.

[Gee]

Cheers mate.....

[andrew mitchell]

LBW.............................

[alifeacoustic]

Nice one Gee. reminds me ofwhat we thought of as the ruder version we sang in the playground as kids,
Little Miss Muffet,sat on her tuffet,
eating her curds and whey,
She put in her thumb, and pulled out a typewriter,
and said what the f**ks that doing in there? :)

[Gee]

Lol,cheers....

[wordman]

a interesting version of an old nursery rhyme,now it will have to be read
at a old folks home instead of school

[Gee]

Thanks............

[Melinda McQueen]

Haha very cute..... and funny I must say!
Hmmmmmmmm........
I wonder what you could do with Little Red Riding Hood....

[Gee]

Thanks Melinda.Little Red Riding Hood,mmmmm now there's a thought....Reading your biog is very humbling and I wish you all the best,I like everybody else in good health take it for granted when we should thank our lucky stars.

[sereenaoutloud]

oh another great twist here. I really like this one..there is a strong message woven within the humor aimed at young girls, telling them to be carful otherwise this could be their reality!!
Very clever Gee!!

[Gee]

Hi Serrena,cheers,seems as though this was written years ago.I write and delete so much piffle I don't know my arse from my elbow sometimes

[sereenaoutloud]

well i am glad you re posted it and i got a chance to read it! G

[Bright Ocean Star]

Ha-ha! Great and hilarious piece of wisdom for the young ones. I like your style, Gee.

[Gee]

Again thanks.I just keep things ad simple as possible,haven't got the greatest command of the good queen Lizzies English.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Not many of us do. King David below gave you a great piece of advice, though. If you haven't checked him out, you definitely should. He's the king of meter and rhyme. Thanks for sharing this one.

[Gee]

Yep have checked him out,a few divisions above me,something to aspire to.Thanks .Take care

[Zahra]

a bitter lesson being conveyed humourously. nice one

[Gee]

Thanks for taking the time to read/review

[Matching Socks]

That was a cute and funny poem with a good underlying message.
Loved it.

[Gee]

Thanks for taking time to read/review Ana