Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
eating her curds and whey,
when along came a farmer,
a right rustic charmer,
who immediately wooed, made a play.
He plied her with wine,
"have more you'll be fine,"
before hiding his sausage inside,
then when he was done having his fun,
he left thanking her for the ride.
NOW.............
Pregnant Miss Muffet is having to rough it
'cos dads thrown her out on the street,
and the smooth rustic charmer who did this to harm her
has legged it, was quick on his feet.
So the moral of this is don't ever kiss
or open your legs 'cos you're flattered,
as with a kid on the way and nowhere to stay
your life could be properly shattered.
That's a great little piece of whimsy. It would be so much better if you arranged it in stanzas though.
Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey,
When along came a farmer, a right rustic charmer,
Who immediately wooed, made a play.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Have just this moment finished reading one of your poems,brilliant.Haven't got a clue what a stanza .. read moreHave just this moment finished reading one of your poems,brilliant.Haven't got a clue what a stanza is,thought it was a German tank,but will take on board any comments,advice you can shovel my way.Thanks for reading.
9 Years Ago
Stanzas are groups of lines usually Gee mate - verses, we might call them too, as David kindly shows.. read moreStanzas are groups of lines usually Gee mate - verses, we might call them too, as David kindly shows an example (a 4 line group/stanza) - they aid the reader and make the work look good. Presentation is part of the whole package.
9 Years Ago
Cheers Anto.I suppose I should take more notice of the presentation,no good putting a t**d in an Ar.. read moreCheers Anto.I suppose I should take more notice of the presentation,no good putting a t**d in an Armani suit,wouldn't give the required effect.It's good that people like yourself actually offer advice and don't just read,think"that's shite"but then post a comment to massage the ego of the poet.Keep up the good work.
9 Years Ago
Thats a nice thing to say mate - Its hard to critique without fearing blowing out the flame Gee - bu.. read moreThats a nice thing to say mate - Its hard to critique without fearing blowing out the flame Gee - but we are all learning mate, if you want you can PM me and I'll show you some sites I use to learn.
9 Years Ago
Might well take you up on that in the future,depends on how frustrated I get with myself.With regard.. read moreMight well take you up on that in the future,depends on how frustrated I get with myself.With regards to reviewing I tend to shy away from speaking my mind because people very rarely want any negativity,constructive or not,whereas I'm at an age where it doesn't bother my arse.To use an extremely over used and seldom meant"Americanism",have a good day.
Nice to see you visit David lol keeping an eye on things lol:)
7 Years Ago
And, boys, if you go to too many learning sites, you are in danger of losing your originality! Gee, .. read moreAnd, boys, if you go to too many learning sites, you are in danger of losing your originality! Gee, I liked your poem just the way you wrote it!!!!!!
I love it! A poor, grim future for Miss Muffet :( With a positive moral that others could take away and learn. You Gee, may have birthed a new genre "Highschool rhymes" :) Would love to see more takes on nursery rhymes in this style.
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Cheers. Have had a pop at humpty and Georgie Porgie
This certainly caught me by surprise, and I almost clicked past it before doing a double-take. This was a great portrayal of an ever present problem :)
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Cheers Brock, you did well to dig this one up. Brock.......badger !!
hilariously repenned and in reading the reviews gee, i have to agree with david lewis paget he really nailed the natural rests in it but as i said really, really funny
I take it you have made a ton of teases on nursery rhymes! This is hilarious. If you have done so, I suggest you compile them into your own Roald Dahl style Revolting Rhymes collection. They're too funny to keep hidden or stored on social sites. Well done!
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
I only did a few of them and have never really thought about having a pop at some of the other nurse.. read moreI only did a few of them and have never really thought about having a pop at some of the other nursery rhymes.
Thank you (again) for your kind words
Oh how could you do this to poor old little Miss Muffet. What did she ever do to harm you.? It was just a spider that sat down beside her! But I thought your poem was really brilliant! May all young girls who meet a 'right rustic charmer' take note!
Funny you should ask, a tuffet is the daughter of a tuff....cheers Tony
7 Years Ago
Lmao
and a buffet? (mr buff)
7 Years Ago
Funny you should ask, ''tis a spread of food served to the masses, finger food, you know the shite a.. read moreFunny you should ask, ''tis a spread of food served to the masses, finger food, you know the shite always left spread over tables and floors at cheap skate weddings.....or, my daughter...
Devoted family man and lover of life.
Simply written, easily understood "stuff" for those without code breaking skills. You will NEVER need Google to understand me:)
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