The Scent Of Carnations

based on a 'true' story

Came one night, someone said

"Who was that lady?

The one that just left?"

"What lady?" I asked (there was no-one else there)

"She just passed me in the hallway, immaculately dressed

a fluffy cream blouse and blueish-rinse hair"

(If she'd known who she was, she'd be rather impressed)

"Short lady; glasses, blue suit, debonair -

And the way that she looked at me!

She gave me such a stare!"

Miss McPherson is dead

she's been dead now for years

she'd never leave this place, she said

now she echoes in my ears

I heard her counting coins

at the end of the night

she once cut a small figure

and ever so slight

but commanded a presence

just like she still does

an immaculate essence

and a scent of carnations

blue rinse and glasses

and she always wore gloves

Miss McPherson is dead

but she's really still here

she'd never leave this place, she said

there's really nothing to fear

I took over her classes

of church hall dances

that's her picture on the wall

at a glittering ball

The Grosvenor, '55 

(some time before she died)

but she's very much alive

moving hangers in the cloakroom

her footsteps by the door

she's still here, though she's really no more

Miss McPherson is dead

though her music still plays

she'd never leave this place, she said

how she loved the old days!

And as I count these coins

I can smell her carnations

Were the fruits of her loins

just invisible sensations?

Feelings of bliss must always persist

and part of what's gone will always live on

The soul must be at rest, the churchman attests

and even science appears to be bluffing

for nothing is ever what it seems

and always seems to be nothing

Miss McPherson is dead

but is there really such a thing?

she'd never leave this place, she said

what does death really bring?

Reviews

[Crowley]

I am so hung up on the point that the last stanza makes. It really doesn't matter where its physical manifestation, memories or rattles in the night....death may not be what we think it is. I like to think that death is just like many of the other principals of energy and when the mortal shell kicks, the energy returns to its original form as another life...kind of like a spring. I think that is what reincarnation is. 98% physics, 2% psychics. Not that I would ever pretend to know...but this what I thought about when I read this. The whole thing was beautifully laid out like a buffet on Easter. But really....the last stanza could very well stand alone. You rock.

[Alessander]

She reminds me of one those old stuffy brit ladies from the black and white era...an Elinore Rigbsy of sort...maybe that's just my American stereotyping though lol I like the character sketch of her, which is like a bio, but then it's mixed in with the metaphysical, or mystical, if one's into that. I like all the tactile details like the coins and carnations - made the poem more "alive" (insert irony). I think it can be cleaned up in a few places, for instance, you use the word "immaculate" twice, and unless that's a hint for the reader to draw a parallism or contrast, I'd use another word. There are other very minor changes I would make personally, (like strengthening the refrain a bit, or maybe even turn it into parallel construction) but that's prob due more to my individual taste lol The rhyme was unobtrusive as well, which is always a good. Nice job. This def could've been a Halloween-ish poem;)

[Lilly]

A very captivating poem. The rhyme is great - it really works to add to the 'haunting' feel of this piece. I loved the images too. Very nice work.

[Ishan Sadwelkar]

Refreshing but stale.
Trust me, that's a compliment.
It's very difficult to morph a poem out of one's past
And still make it alive.

I like such poetry. It's biopic but still half-done, which adds to its suspense as well as sensuousness.
The reader is a bit perplexed about your view of the lady, your relation with her.
Maybe she didn't exist at all.

The poem could mean so many things.
And the title is suite.

Thanks Devons.

PS. Sorry for being out of touch. I've been a bit screwed up by college.
Cheers!

[Elizabeth]

Many of us have had an experience of a "Miss McPherson"... this was both whip smart and haunting (forgive the pun). I can see her wandering the dance hall, inspecting the coatroom and moving to the music. It really does give one pause... can a soul truly remain earthbound or is it merely a hologram of sorts? Perhaps her energy left some cosmic impression in the studio. Who knows. But, as always, you have told the story with such mastery that it was playing out before my eyes.

[FlawedByDesign]

For those who believe in ghosts (I've never had a paranormal encounter to be able to formulate any opinions on that subject, so I can't say I believe in ghosts), they say the spirit tends to linger holding on to things, wandering places, that played a big part in their lives and will always be associated to that person.
It is a nice story you recount; an unassuming and believable one.

Well done.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I like how pertaining to the theme..your words also haunt and echo throughout.I like :Feelings of bliss must always persist
and part of what's gone will always live on
The soul must be at rest, the churchman attests
and even science appears to be bluffing
for nothing is ever what it seems
and always seems to be nothing
The soul never dies.Eternal it is.Bodies are changed by the soul as we change clothes in human lives...death is certain not definite and the end..

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

this is beautiful and quirky, and filled with life. i can envision her so clearly. it could almost be a beatles song with how precisely she is described. and your sing songy repetition of key phrases pulls you along, lulls you into a modern fiary-tale type sense. it would make an excellent movie short a la "close encounters" or "amazing stories".

she sounds like someone i'dve loved to have known

[.]

You description of this lady is wonderful, I can picture and you give us a insight into a life gone by, simply exquisite writing. Whether you think there is such a thing as ghosts or afterlife, is irrelevant, your poem is a ode to this lady and really enjoyed reading it.

[Alicante lullaby]

immaculate writing...the small figure,clean dressing,scent of Carnations is i think your idea of a woman with substance...this write haunts...a scintillating copper blue...chanted like an incantation...lovely piece of work and thats the trade mark of our author...:)
what doe sdying bring..i think it brings a degree of freedom and perhaps a distant approach to perceive things far away from family and fashions...