Down To The Hollow

Blood, blood, vainglorious blood

Russet-rivered tracks in molasses of mud

Follow me, follow

down to the hollow

and wallow.

Inglorious blood.

Carcasses, carts, lost tins and innards

Bully-beef guts of squashed caterpillars

Urine-dried khaki and trench-foot stench

Rain-soaked sweat in a gangrene clench

More slugs than snails or puppy-dog tails

And the gloom of a thousand grey Mondays.

Never once taught in a decade of Sundays

In a church-load of sermons and sunny fete fun-days

Of marching Christian goodness, brass bands side-by-side

Soldiers of children played war-games and died

No pride denied for the village green military

And their clockwork performance for the boys'-toys artillery.

Though you may shield your eyes and remember those sighs

As the shells cracked Hoorahs! to the cheers and the cries

It's the glimpse of a sun-ray through mustard-smoked skies

It's the tragedy of loss, of innocence to lies

The rotting-cabbage smell of the flesh and the flies

Where no one is winning and anyone dies.

You're a coward, you're a killer

You're a saviour, you're a death

A knee-jerk reaction and a wasted breath

You can pray for salvation to your God in His heaven

But in one day you'll ruin what He did in seven.

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

Well, I'm wondering what I should say that Augustus already hasn't! I do not usually indulge in praising without giving reasons.
But I have to say that this is simply the best poem I've read on the Cafe so far.
I've recommended it to as many friends as I could.
And I just can't stop reading it. There are so many emotions, so many images conveyed with such an awesome sense of rhythm, it is just mind boggling!
100/100 , if you ask me.

[Alicante lullaby]

Devons...this write weeps...one of the best[war] sentimental ones that i read in cafe...i'll not give you a seven but ten on ten for the last lines.

[Augustus]

This is a masterpiece Devons...Immensely graphic in its depiction of war violence...Immensely powerful in its rendition and immensely gut wrenching...compelling the reader to accept the futility and desolation of a war...

I see a lot of depth in the usage of the words "vainglorious" and "inglorious" in the beginning of the poem...the former depicting the sense of pomp and glory that the average soldier dreams of...he dreams of being the hero for his country...And that is contrasted by the word inglorious...he never actually becomes famous...never achieves glory...
The second stanza was almost like playing a movie in my mind...startlingly accurate and ruthlessly blunt in its depiction of a war scene...I was reminded of the Vietnam War after this...
The third stanza then contrasts the war scenario with insights into the stunted civilian lives of the soldiers...
And the next one takes us back to the war front, this time focusing on the battle and not the battlefield, as the second stanza did...And while the second stanza was more in the nature of an undecorated description, this stanza has beautiful imagery, in harmony with the greater significance of the events taking place...

"It's the glimpse of a sun-ray through mustard-smoked skies
It's the tragedy of loss, of innocence to lies
The rotting-cabbage smell of the flesh and the flies
Where no one is winning and anyone dies."

Wonderful lines...there is a blend of several elements of poetic aesthetics in these lines "mustard smoked skies" is lovely imagery, signifying the ghastly effect of the mustard gas... followed by a beautiful metaphor that sees the war as a consequence of "innocence" losing out to "lies"... this is followed by a lethal allusion to corpses with the alliteration "flesh and flies" punctuating the macabre actuality... The final line is the ethos of the verse, for me and it couldn't have been worded better.....

And then we come to the grand finale...speaking of various names by which a soldier is known to people on both sides of the border...And adding an author's note as it were, by calling him "a wasted breath"...And the final lines convey the irreversibility of the damage that the soldier has wrought... perhaps in the name of patriotism, perhaps in the name of duty... the stain on the world portrayed in elegant words... "in one day you'll ruin what He did in seven"...
I am spellbound...

[FlawedByDesign]

Amazing imagery and stellar rhymes. You describe a very visceral experience using the extravagant imagery to paint the realities of war.

I feel like there is a disconnect between the 2nd and 3rd stanzas. What exactly was "Never once taught in a decade of Sundays"? The horrors of war? The first 2 stanzas don't lead into the subject at hand in my opinion.

Lastly, there seems to be an abrupt switch between, "Of marching Christian goodness, brass bands side-by-side" and "Soldiers of children played war-games and died". I can't relate the Christian goodness and soldiers of children.

Very well done.

I await your reply :)

[Dinesh Sairam]

"It's the glimpse of a sun-ray through mustard-smoked skies"

Awesome! Like a predator at the prey, I always look out for the 'Imagination' part of the poems I read. And you sir, has fed the predator exceedingly well!

[Ruth]

OMG!
Devons, this is stunning love!
You know, you have versed all the emotions and actions here that sum this picture up! lol
You have taken the essence of what soldiers must have felt like, a glorious picture to have gone to fight their country and yet the realisation saets in at some point!
Amazing poem love
Excellent!
LOVE it!
xx

[Adarsh]

The last stanza took my breath away!

[the_stoic]

gory to the core !!

[Elizabeth]

Holy God. This is... splendid. The images are visceral and ruthless. It begs to be read aloud. The last line... just wow. Speechless.

[Dupree]

This is an amazing piece. I love this view, the flow, the ryhme, all of it. So impressive!!!

[Fran Marie]

It's the glimpse of a sun-ray through mustard-smoked skies
It's the tragedy of loss, of innocence to lies
The rotting-cabbage smell of the flesh and the flies
Where no one is winning and anyone dies.

A power-packed write that really packs a wallop

in each and every verse ,extremely well penned

with graphic details and descriptives that grab you

with both hands as you are reading~ WeLL DonE!