Down To The Hollow

Blood, blood, vainglorious blood

Russet-rivered tracks in molasses of mud

Follow me, follow

down to the hollow

and wallow.

Inglorious blood.

Carcasses, carts, lost tins and innards

Bully-beef guts of squashed caterpillars

Urine-dried khaki and trench-foot stench

Rain-soaked sweat in a gangrene clench

More slugs than snails or puppy-dog tails

And the gloom of a thousand grey Mondays.

Never once taught in a decade of Sundays

In a church-load of sermons and sunny fete fun-days

Of marching Christian goodness, brass bands side-by-side

Soldiers of children played war-games and died

No pride denied for the village green military

And their clockwork performance for the boys'-toys artillery.

Though you may shield your eyes and remember those sighs

As the shells cracked Hoorahs! to the cheers and the cries

It's the glimpse of a sun-ray through mustard-smoked skies

It's the tragedy of loss, of innocence to lies

The rotting-cabbage smell of the flesh and the flies

Where no one is winning and anyone dies.

You're a coward, you're a killer

You're a saviour, you're a death

A knee-jerk reaction and a wasted breath

You can pray for salvation to your God in His heaven

But in one day you'll ruin what He did in seven.

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

Well, I'm wondering what I should say that Augustus already hasn't! I do not usually indulge in praising without giving reasons.
But I have to say that this is simply the best poem I've read on the Cafe so far.
I've recommended it to as many friends as I could.
And I just can't stop reading it. There are so many emotions, so many images conveyed with such an awesome sense of rhythm, it is just mind boggling!
100/100 , if you ask me.

[imawriter]

there are no winners in wars

[miSS LEaf]

i felt the opening was great for Halloween time, but reading more it turned out to be more of a real horror than festivity.....

You can pray for salvation to your God in His heaven
But in one day you'll ruin what He did in seven.


Yes, outstandingly profound.

[JENY]

A great piece of wrting…..
Liked it…
Nicely packed truths…
in a bunch of lines…
liked it so much…

[Adelia Alighieri]

I must say I haven't read anything like this in a while. It's a dark and bold subject yet you do absolute justice with it. I love the subtle suspense you arouse in the beginning too. Brilliantly crafted, well done!

[.]

you have a mastery for the rhyme, do never deviate from the story your telling and this keeps everything tight and interesting..wow just wow

[JC]

a stunningly brash and raw piece of war poetry, you captured the reality of misery, hardship and heartache, the chaos and devastation, the pure anger, madness and overwhelming emotion...glorification is easy, the truth takes real guts.

[Tony]

This is dope.

[.]

"Rain-soaked sweat in a gangrene clench
More slugs than snails or puppy-dog tails
And the gloom of a thousand grey Mondays."

{wow-your command of smooth imagistic phraseology is magnificent}

"A knee-jerk reaction and a wasted breath
You can pray for salvation to your God in His heaven
But in one day you'll ruin what He did in seven."

{the deceptive/distorted/angered life in which we live}

...i love this!!!

james:-)

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I read this writing twice,merely cause this is a rare piece.You have picked up a theme which is rare and hence when one comes across such one just doesn't know how to review..what to say that would appraise the writer in a fitting manner.I would be honest i am so much used to reading poems on heartbreak,love,melancholy..(my poems included under such) that when i happen to read a poem which have such an all encompassing aura..i just fall short of words.This has so much going on here,such rich imagery,that all your words can be precisely imagined..and hence the reader is instantly repelled by the human atrocities,which are shamelessly committed,yet they die down soon after media celebrates them as headlines,and as soon as the reader reacts..your work here is done,cause you have managed to convey here what you had set out for that is bring a collective attention to the hypocrisy humans live every day yet chose to ignore.
The strongest stanza has to be the last stanza,You can pray for salvation to your God in His heaven
But in one day you'll ruin what He did in seven.
The last two lines were so very good,yes i have so often pondered on this...does praying for salvation validate collective sins..how much more would we chose to bear on the all merciful image that we have given to our gods,hence we sit back and commit atrocious acts..and then pray for forgiveness.
Also,the line..And the gloom of a thousand grey Mondays...got me..i like the phrase a thousand grey mondays.
Never once taught in a decade of Sundays
In a church-load of sermons and sunny fete fun-days
Of marching Christian goodness, brass bands side-by-side..
That was just rightly said..
Very powerful,interesting read..

[Poeticpiers]

Gott mit uns or God with us. Ministers on both sides grant blessings to men out to kill other men. There are only losers in war.
Another well crafted pice of writing