A Beat Of The Wings

A Beat Of The Wings

A Poem by Devons

Antenna and feelers picking up scent
Descends upon flowers, the honey well-spent
Hops bed-to-bed, escapes vent-to-vent
A meander on breezes
with hovering intent

Its vacuum absorbing all that is bright
Consumption for colour, all red, black, and white
Flawless, yet fragile, a glorious sight
Fearsome to predator
Evasive in flight
Stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net
Energy burnt like a quick cigarette
Blood-letting, conflict, deep-red in debt
A gamble of moments
On a destiny bet

Life is short and existence small
Life is a butterfly perched on a wall
Fly away Peter, fly away Paul
A beat of the wings
Then it's death to us all

© 2010 Devons


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okay, this is going into my favorites, like, right now. :) it's very beautiful... there is just a delicate sensitivity about it that immediately speaks to me... that last stanza leaves me speechless ('fly away peter, fly away paul' = is there such a thing as religious romanticism because that line is fantastic)... today i overheard someone say 'the universe doesn't give a s**t about us' -- i think you're saying the same thing here, just in a more gentle, intricately woven way... wonderful rumination on the frailty and transience of life. total love.

(ehh, just reread what i wrote, and sorry if i sound off, i'm very tired... to bed nao. bye.)

Posted 14 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

At first I thought that the butterfly represented life in general, but after reading it again. The line "Flawless, yet fragile, a glorious sight" kept gnawing at my head. Now, personally I think that the butterfly represents the life of a loved one, a mate, a brother, a sister, etc..whom in our eyes is flawless. Personally I think that this poem is telling us that life is short, we should enjoy the butterflies while they last, and our own life as well.

A perfect score! and please correct me if I'm wrong!

Posted 14 Years Ago


awesome piece of poetry...besides several plots of sublime imagery, once again i found this piece culminating in something utterly philosophical and that gets the reader intrigued....leaves a long impact on reader's mind...when i finished reading this one, i felt kind of an impulsive compulsion to go through it again.. it's just so marvelous... awesome.. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net
Energy burnt like a quick cigarette
Blood-letting, conflict, deep-red in debt
A gamble of moments

have to say, that was particularly brilliant. btw, the casual feel to the end was nice too... sort of like.. hey there, you're alive, i'm alive, we'll soon all be dead, so there's not much use worrying about it.



Posted 14 Years Ago


WOW, this was so imaginative and just simply beautiful. unlike your other stuff I think this one had a simpler rhyme scheme, but it really worked well with the poem.
really really, truly did enjoy this one.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Brilliant. Very imaginative. And the rhyme scheme is impeccable. You've described the metaphor very creatively.
"Stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net
Energy burnt like a quick cigarette"
Easily the most sonorous lines in the poem. Infact, the most sonorous lines I've read anywhere for quite some time now.

"A beat of the wings
Then it's death to us all".
You've just put what it is like to be alive, in a nutshell.

Another great poem!

Posted 14 Years Ago


" stuck in a cobweb, caught in a net
Energy burned like a quick cigarette."
these lines are brilliant, this is one of the best writes i read in a while. its smooth has great rhyme and not one of those poems which make your head spin.


Posted 14 Years Ago


Dreamy and sad. The imagery is really splendid. The third stanza is my favorite. Very raw. My favorite poem of the day. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Now I'm not much of a poetry guy, but I can say this is a real good one. Real awesome description, this paints a pretty nice picture in my mind. I like it, keep up the great work.

Posted 14 Years Ago


this was a gorgeous piece. really soft and subtle but full of great imagery and detail. great use of rhymes. you managed to choose just the right words to help your poem be its absolute best. great read. keep it up!

Posted 14 Years Ago


This has the polished cadence that usually only nursery rhymes have.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1484 Views
38 Reviews
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Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on June 7, 2010
Last Updated on June 25, 2010

Author

Devons
Devons

South West, United Kingdom



About
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