Another Walk On the Wired Side

the extraordinary, the ordinary, and marriage

A lot of people's lives I think go along mostly on a steady level. A few ups, a few downs, but never really deviating from the predicted norm. It will never be that bad but it'll never be that good. Straight along smooth and easy, no worries. Maybe.

  I absolutely think my life more resembles a seismograph. Or at the very least that of a line graph in a sales conference: "Here we see in May 2004 we were soaring at record levels, somewhere near 80% ahead of the predicted forecast! Then as you can see by September it's virtually close season - a disastrous plummet way, way down there in virtually minus figures versus target, and against the forecast - well, it's off the chart. The up-shot is, gentlemen - it's gonna take a lot more than just spring cleaning to get ourselves out of this hole!"

  And how like a cardiograph. Massive leaps on the needle, shooting fantastically upwards like a summit with a short peak but at critical height. And then down, down, plunging ground-wards with miraculous speed and tremendous force, exaggerated by the distance of the fall, crashing into the ground like a bomb and at a critical depth it explodes from beneath, blowing the world to bits.

  Beep. Beep. Beep.

  My life can reach the brink of a heart attack compared to the relative blip of Mr Norm. With his 3 kids and his leafy suburb and his doting wife and his mortgage and his career. But to me his life is a coma.

  That kind of life is like enduring a prolonged pain in order to avoid fracture. Never really getting ill but never really feeling well.

  When people get married, for example, it's like a disease. Once people get married they start trying to marry everything! They marry the house by getting a mortgage. They marry their job by marrying their house. And they marry their marriage by having children! Then suddenly they're not married, they're MARRIED.

  I can't understand it. Do people, on their first day at work, think "Yeah, I can see myself doing this for the next 25 years!"?

  I came close to it once. I can't specifically remember why it never got that far but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with instinct. Commitment I think girls call it. But I think now if I was ever stood there, hearing those vows being chanted over my head, I'd repeat them back abidingly and then turn to my beloved, lift her veil and say "That's it, darling. This is the end for you and me."

  But then it would be a beautiful day and we'd remember it for the rest of our lives, every once in a while taking out the photos, dusting them off, and seeing if the dress still fits. But it was a wonderful day, look at the bridesmaids, look, don't they look lovely, oh, she looks so cute there, look, oh and look at how smart your Dad looks in his tails, oh and there's the old limo that took us to the church. Poor old Dad, must've cost him a fortune!

  And I bet poor old Dad was thinking "Christ, I wish I'd never got married now, let alone my bloody daughter!"

  And there we are, look, all dancing at the end there, and they gave us the most riotous send-off.

  Some people call wakes a "send-off".

  That was the happiest day of my life she says wistfully, as she tenderly closes the tome.

  All that adulation lavished upon one day. All that time and preparation devoted to one day. All that pomp and presentation stuffed into one day. And all that money. Imagine if you got it wrong. But no, it's not allowed to go wrong - I once saw a couple re-stage their entire wedding day because the first one didn't come out properly on video. It has to, it's the happiest day of our lives!

  How could you go on living after that?

  So, that was it, darling?

  That was the end for you and me.

  And she tenderly closes the tomb.

Reviews

[Elizabeth]

Yes, it can be rather like a disease. But some people are rather like a disease.

On the other hand, if you've gotten it right... everything can go wrong on that ONE DAY and it's laughable. The dress got dirty, the priest was drunk, Daddy was angry, the car broke down... so what? Good. Because it's about every day after. And forever laughing, with your love, at the inevitable mess life will present. An inside joke between the two of you that has you against the world.

I for one, hope it rains on my wedding day. I hope that the flowers are all dead. I hope someone starts a brawl. It will be funny. THOSE are the pictures I want. And still, it will be the happiest day of my life.

"That's it, darling. This is the end for you and me."

Yes, in more ways than one. The end of navigating this world alone. The end of wondering where your place is. Home is something we all search for. And it sits at the *end* of the road. It can be a beautiful thing, you know.

[miSS LEaf]

a well-written prose;
i read this and it took me a great while before writing down my thoughts..
yes, marriage should be an option, not an obligation. in some case, the hearts play most parts in the making of the choice, while it needs clear heads and courage to grasp and to grow through the life-changing event, coz like any decision in life, it comes with predictable and unpredictable risks.. there are things to gain and there are other things to lose... i still believe that being married, at its best, is wonderful~ L

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

i really like this story. it had a great message in it and i like how it kind of went against our corporate idea of marriage and love. it was amusing to read about the different "marriages" i like how you said that in the end you marry marriage. and how you talk about marrying your job, and your house. realy great story and great little argument.
but what i really loved was how it ended. "that was the end for you and me. and she tenderly closes the tomb." those two lines were a beautful way to wrap up the story. two thumbs up

[just rose.]

an incisive treatise not only on the questionable societal construct of matrimony but on the nature of ritual itself. some schools of thought maintain that these touchstones are what define us as humans, but really when you go to this stuff regardless of whether you are the hero, antihero, or merely part of the madding crowd, all anyone cares about is when the bar opens so they can kick back and forget what it's costing, either in emotion, cold cash or time wasted. the happiest person at a wedding is the random former work acquaintance who sits at the motley table back near the bar - he knows no one, speaks to no one, and gets served his chicken parm first amongst the guests because he's closest to the kitchen.

i could give my own impressions of this whole topic, but i think what you're saying is ironic, funny, poignant and expensive.

oh, and apparently, monogamy is st. augustine's fault. :)

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

i love your rather twisted sense of humour.. i found myself grinning all the way through, as i pictured the narrator leaping out the window and running down the street, pants half pulled up on the run because she mentioned marriage.

i have always thought it was funny tho how they use the same word for being locked up in a loony bin as they do for being in a relationship... "committed".. odd, that...

yet another write that feels intimate and told over glasses.. you have a skill at drawing the reader into the worlds you create

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

From tome to tomb.. This seemed to start out as a write on the economy I was thinking for the first few lines ..I didn't read the little note beneath the title, sorry.. i like the use of medical terms to describe what the poem is about -marriage.
This is well written Devons.. the thing for me is a wedding does not have to be the end all do all to make the day perfect.. but you are so right .. to so many it is THE day and has to be so perfect.. so extravagant .. costing a fortune better spent elsewhere.. As i said, your writing is perfect .. the subject one of debate or perhaps personal preference.. You can still love someone and be with them without a bridal gown, tux, doves flying above, cakes a mile high and all that jazz.. and also without a paper stating you are married.

Chloe