The Maelstrom

 

The essence of nature:

2/3 water, 1/3 pressure

To drown in, be crushed by

To master, to conquer

Win battles, lose the war.

 

Where once was a keeper

A robot saves souls

A light-tower on stones

Of man-made defiance

But electric reliance.

 

For Time is a weapon

The elements’ ram

That batters the fortress

Of self-made Man

Eternity outlives endurance.

 

Savage, wreaking havoc

Impetuous wrecking

Bucking in its paddock

Smashing-in doors

And breaking the banks.

 

Mindless destruction

Blindness of function

Aimless in victory

But always the winner

Forever and ever The Maelstrom.

　

 

The essence of Man:

2/3 water, 1/3 plan

One part possession, two parts famine

The hubble, the bubble

The toil and the trouble.

 

His mind, an oasis

Creation, it graces

Designs, cracks its borders

Whilst barking-out orders

In lessons to obstacles he faces.

 

God is a problem

That he will work out

Just walls to surmount

Though there may be many of them

On top, he will always come out.

 

Playing games with his life

His wife: human strife

That he cuts with a knife

As he walks upon others

To adulter their Mothers.

 

But always the winner

Aimless in victory

Blindness of function

Mindless destruction

Forever and ever The Maelstrom.

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

What an amazing poem you have from this image..
It is a powerful poem even the title, so turbulent ...
As if man and nature are going against the other in a way..
but then talking of human nature for many as in this verse:

Playing games with his life

His wife: human strife

That he cuts with a knife

As he walks upon others

To adulter their Mothers.

I can only say it is a powerful well written poem and take on this image.
I read True's and in comparison I see how men and women think so differently on many things .. even an image..

Chloe

[Ruth]

This is intense all the way through
A great piece of work Devons!
The calm and ferociousness of the elements are all infused within this whirlpool of a poem itself!
Great poem!
xx

[mope]

A beacon of beat
Repeating so neat
'tis the rule of thirds
and all that's absurb

2/3:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/somerset/8680168.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/suffolk/8679404.stm

1/3:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8568650.stm

[Gandré]

I really liked how you constructed this one. so wonderfully, like a story.. this was more about the nature of man.. in times of earth this dominance of man the last 5 000 years - is nothing and everything is thanks goodness, a repetition. I loved the first stanza.. and its repetition.. it was like a recipe when an alien would ask his father - what are humans?

[ashley]

This is amazing.
"But always the winner
Aimless in victory
Blindness of function
Mindless destruction
Forever and ever The Maelstrom."
Brilliant, as always. :D

[A.Lee]

To start with, I love the word "maelstrom". I don't know why, its just one of those words that I really like for some reason. That aside... I think this one is really good. Very thoughtful and subtly powerful. I loved the last stanza of each section:
"Mindless destruction
Blindness of function
Aimless in victory
But always the winner
Forever and ever The Maelstrom."

and

"But always the winner
Aimless in victory
Blindness of function
Mindless destruction
Forever and ever The Maelstrom."

Great job. One of my favorites.

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

I really feel the parallels between man and man-made here. I think the behaviors are, for the most part, interchangeable. What jumps out at me most is this:

The essence of nature: 2/3 water, 1/3 pressure
and
The essence of Man: 2/3 water, 1/3 plan

....because it strikes me that man's plan is largely derived from pressure. Eventually crushing him if he is not careful. It is not generally in man's nature to be careful, is it..??

A favorite of mine, this is. Well done.

~True

[Ishan Sadwelkar]

Eternity outlives endurance.

EPIC !

Good flow. Punctuations and breaks could do with some work.
But man, ideation, I give you full marks.
Basically, you understand the depth of your expression very well.

Philosphical, truthful and extensive.
I like it when people write on a grand scale.

I'd love to read some prose from you now.