Persuasion

Based on a traditional rhyme

Oh, soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me?

With your brown-eyed, handsome soul -

Oh, no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you

For I’ve always seen marriage as a bowl!

So off she went to her grandfather’s chest

And offered him her soul, of the very, very best!

(and the soldier tried it on)

Oh, soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me?

With your boyish, gorgeous charms -

Oh, no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you

With this ‘giving’ I have many qualms!

So off she went to her grandfather’s chest

And offered him her body, of the very, very best!

(and the soldier tried it on)

Oh, soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me?

With your place between my sheets -

Oh, no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you

For I have no time for deceits!

So off she went to her grandfather’s chest

And offered him lies, of the very, very best!

(and the soldier tried it on)

Oh, soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me?

With your manhood, hard and strong -

Oh, no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you

For passion never lasts very long!

So off she went to her grandfather’s chest

And offered him sex, of the very, very best!

(and the soldier tried it on)

Oh, soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me?

With your deep insight and brains -

Oh, no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you

For my mind’s not a horse under reins!

So off she went to her grandfather’s chest

And offered him cooking, of the very, very best!

(and the soldier tried it on)

Oh, soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me?

With your appetite, energy, and fun -

Oh, no, sweet maid, I cannot marry you

I’d enjoy it all better on my own!

So off she went to her grandfather’s chest

And offered him a change, of the very, very best!

(and the soldier tried it on)

Oh, soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me?

Would you give your life up now?

Well, I guess, sweet maid, I’ll have to marry you

I’ll be getting old soon anyhow!

Reviews

[just rose.]

amazing. you do such a good job capturing this type of verse with wryness, spirit, wisdom and truth. the meter is fantastic and the repetition is effective, and it ends very funny and very sad. i so enjoy your views on gender relations, they're dead on.

[Gandré]

aww. this was brilliant.. such a nursery rhyme - isn't it? great story, I like when poets lean on traditions of their ancestors. Flawless..

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

*wonders*

What change did she offer for him to acquiesce? Perhaps she stopped nagging him, and in her silence realized that she wasn't so bad after all?

I liked this a lot. You have a keen mind for these conversational pieces, along with a unique brand of humour (u) that makes your work just what it is...
Fantastic!

~True

[A.Lee]

Haha, all that denying her and finally he realizes there's no one else and time is running out so.... sure, may as well. Not a very good start to a marraige, unfortunately, but thats often how it seems to go. One person either gets sick and tired of the other constantly asking or they realize they'd better take what they can get! Nice work. I liked the layout. The rhyme was interesting. It wasn't "effortless" sounding, but it gave it character.

[Gomer LePoet]

good one Devons. interesting style and funny. he waited her out or did she wait him out? doesn't matter, I still found it witty and enjoyed. thanks

[zombiikillah666]

wow!!!!!
this is uber cooltastic :D
soldier soldier, wont you divorce me?
Well sure , Bitter maiden, i got me a
sweet thang on the side. (:
*licks your eye*
love it. (: