Life At The Top

I want you to show me the way
(every day)
How to succeed, in three easy stages
Happiness, Love, and a say
in how your life moves through your ages
without damage or even delay

 

Fulfill a dream, nor lose it!
Achieve a goal and know it!
Enjoy a gift and keep it!
Sustain your soul and prize it!
Look before, not leap it!

 

You ain't seen nothin' yet
(you ain't been around)
When you've seen your dreams get wrecked
and your life drop to the ground
then come back to me, baby
and show me what you've found

 

Try to win ...and FAIL!
Try to love ...and HURT!
Try to learn ...and LIE!
Try to breathe ...and CHOKE!
Try to LIVE!

 

 

...and die.

Reviews

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Congratulations! Good job on this..

Chloe

[ashley]

This is just... wow. I read it three times. Great job again! :D

[Gandré]

This was like the essence of everything - what is important - to take it all, to do it with enthusiasm and stay with it... I have seen this poem as kind of instructions to happiness.. I liked your saying - "try to win, try to learn, try to breathe - and as its antithesis - try to fail, to lie, to choke, etc - the linearity most of us live in - requires to see the direct opposites and so we need joy and we need grief to find out the value of joy, this was very nice literary rhetoric device in this particular poem. Very Hegelian, isn't it? Offering us the solution of "three easy stages" - I perceived as generous and as Kant said, knowledge is possible only a-posteriori. I found this poem as an analysis of human nature into parts, of which you write in detail - its appetites, its affections, and passions on the one hand and the principles of self-love, benevolence and conscience on the other, they formed a hierarchy, ordered in terms of their natural authority. Ending this poem with "... and die" was powerful, for it was summing all the other lines saying like when you live like this - then you can peacefully die. It must be true, that virtue consists in acting in accordance with that ordered, but free, even wild but rightly proportioned human nature.

[Liza]

oh my goodness - powerful write of the extremes in life....
lets hope for everyone's sake that the we live a life in balance

[zombiikillah666]

yes.... *taps fingers on desk, stares at you*
i get this.
It brings me to life, and realize that
everything this says, is the meaning to life.
Literally.. xD wuuuvvv it. (:

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

I really love the way you structure your poems the first two stanzas are very warming and caring, but then the cold harsh truth slaps you.

[Ruth]

Awesome!
I adore the structure here and the scanning of your words
Surreal and passionate, excellent write friend! xx

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Love the format, offbeat .. also reminds me of beat poetry.
I agree with Jaxsterrr it also makes me sad... I know it is a poem but it is sad
and with your usual added sarcasm and wit .. dark humor?


This would indeed be good as spoken word.. try it, got a mic?
Used to be able to speak your poems on this site..

Very good one Devons!

Chloe