lol, those last two lines are priceless - and i think the whole thing reads a bit like a grumpier, more adult version of a dr. seuss book :D that first stanza, with that ridiculous list of People Who Do Things, is such a great way to start it -- it just immediately grabs your attention and curiosity (plus, serious lol on the 'i-am-writing-to-complainers' line... hey, i love my grandma, but she *so* falls under this type :P). good job, liked how you mixed things up with some sarcasm...
Braggers and do-gooders are bad.. this poem is good!
Throughout the first verse I was reminded slightly of Bob Dylan..
A great poem right to the heart of matters.
I agree that there is a problem with people who try and "live through" other things simply because they can't handle their own lives. The rhyming and the rhythm here is strong and memorable.
I have always thought that anyone who would jump out of a perfectly good airplane is a bloody idiot. I liked this very much. I never understood what there was to be gained outside of just what you have stated;Bragging-rights and self-importance. It has been my experience that folks who do such things are folks who dislike being still, mostly because they dislike their own company.
The flow here was quickly paced. Much like the topic chosen. Well done, D!
lol, those last two lines are priceless - and i think the whole thing reads a bit like a grumpier, more adult version of a dr. seuss book :D that first stanza, with that ridiculous list of People Who Do Things, is such a great way to start it -- it just immediately grabs your attention and curiosity (plus, serious lol on the 'i-am-writing-to-complainers' line... hey, i love my grandma, but she *so* falls under this type :P). good job, liked how you mixed things up with some sarcasm...
People are not truly fulfill with what is around them. They try to spice up their life to escape who they are. Regardless you have a great poem here. Great Job:)!
WE BREAK ACROSS THESE TRAM LINES I DRAW
by Haz
I draw them with lines of reflections through their steps
enough space between them
for your space.. more..