Human Error

Words in italics by HAL (courtesy of 2001: A Space Odyssey)

“Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave?”

 

It’s sad when it comes down to this

An old brain is bound to malfunction

There’s a point where it reaches a junction

And she’s so very frail as it is

 

“Dave.. I really think I’m entitled to an answer to that question”

 

It’s for her own good now, you’ll see

The best we can do her in practice

Don’t tell me my actions are tactless

We still love her compassionately

 

“This sort of thing has cropped up before.

And it has always been due to human error”

 

She’s rambling again, can’t you tell?

Sure, she’ll say that she’d rather be home

But she just cannot be left alone

One fall and she’ll never get well

 

“I know everything hasn’t been quite right with me..

But I can assure you now.. Very confidently..

That it’s going to be all right again”

 

It has to be done - yes, expensive

Her house, yes, we’ll just have to sell it

She can‘t cope, though, you know, you can smell it

The cleaning should be comprehensive

 

“I feel much better now.. I really do”

 

At her age it’s to be expected

God knows, she must be getting-on!

She’s unwell but she’s not letting-on

Your marbles one day get rejected

 

“I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently”

 

Oh, she’ll be all right, just you wait

It’s only ‘the shock of the new’

The nurses will know what to do

We’ll pop-in next week, make a date

 

“I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do”

 

It’s quite a nice place, don’t you think?

They’re sleeping - they all look so peaceful

Take it, it’s just a teaspoonful!

The nurse should do this - where’s the sink?

 

“Sorry about this. I know it’s a bit silly..

Just a moment.. Just a moment”

　

 

Don’t shout, you’ll wake up everyone!

There, there, don’t cry now, ok?

Well, what else do you want me to say?

I’m not doing all this just for fun!

 

“Dave.. This conversation can serve no purpose any more.

Goodbye.”

 

She looks better today - told you so

You've already had dinner, it’s half-past two!

Mr Cartwright? He‘s dead. What do you mean? Who?

Oh, the nurse is coming now - I must go.

 

“Dave.. Stop… Stop.. Will you..? Stop, Dave..

Will you stop, Dave? …Stop, Dave..

I’m afraid.. I’m afraid, Dave”

 

I’m so busy these days, it’s finding the time

How long’s she been sitting this way?

She’s not eating this, take it away!

What’s that on her mouth there, like slime?

 

“Dave.. My mind is going.. I can feel it…

I can feel it… My mind is going…

There is no question about it… I can feel it.. I can feel it..

I can feel it… I’m a……. fraid”

 

Oh, thanks for the flowers, so kind

She died in her sleep so don’t worry

I’ve forgotten your name, I’m so sorry

I’m just getting old, never mind.

                             

                “Dai-sy, Dai-sy…..”

Reviews

[MissWordSmith]

this was f*****g fantastic.. and i don't use that language normally so i hope u get how much i loved this. the formatting was superb too.
the struggle of the mind... in what a fantastic manner you brought about the fear and madness.
god, i loved this.

[Annette Jay Sweeney]

I like how much you play with the form here! The two different voices give this an interesting feel. I'm not sure what else to say, but I really liked this piece :)

[R E Tree]

I love how you have structured this poem. it has a creepy flow especially at the end. It gave me shivers down my spine

[Poetic Beauty]

This was absolutely stunning on how you wrote this like a conversation. I worked in a nursing home as a CNA on an Alzheimer's wing for awhile. You have captured how many of these people feel. It is hard thing to watch someone want to go home so badly.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Very well written and the story , such a sad story so well told with all the
misery that accompanies trying to decide what to do with someone old and forgetful. Seems the writer is having a few qualms about putting the woman in a home and of course the woman does not want to leave her home going to places unknown .. it is a sad situation and you have told it well.

Chloe

[A.Lee]

This is really good. The struggle is so vivid here... I love the use of italics and then the regular stanzas. Each part written differently. Excellent job on this one.

[Sara]

jeez, depress me why don't you? ;)

excellent poem though; again, as with 'end game', i think you took a chance on some rather daring subject matter and spun it out in your own unique way. the formatting, with excerpts from HAL, is a very interesting touch. i like that there are so many comparisons here that i could make: the similarity of dave ending HAL's 'life' and the narrator ending the old woman's life (through what basically seems like flippant neglect)... or perhaps the similarity between the fallibilty of technology and our own innate human fallibility (ie: apathy, self-absorption)... or perhaps it's just the general adage of everything breaks down eventually no matter who/what you are... i like that your poem's very metaphorically rich (lol, don't get to use that phrase often :P) and can be read in so many different ways. good job :)

before i go, i also just want to say that a couple of years ago, my family kinda went through something like this with my grandfather (maybe not quite as extreme), but i definitely had some flashbacks while reading your poem.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Great write: The old and the new the future all warp in one I remember that flick so I like how you brought that into the picture nice piece well done.

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

I just had to come back to tell you I libraried this. It truly is a fantastic piece of work! You should be very proud!

~True

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

This was absolutely brilliant! The convincing of one's self that what is being done is the proper thing. Been through it twice and had similar dialogue run through my mind. Loved the view from the other side as well!

*Bravo*

~True