It Wasn't Her, It Was Me

However mine her heart was

It wouldn’t be safe with me

I’d pucker-up, then cut her up

And look inside to see

 

However hot her flesh was

Lusting only after me

At the time, so nice -then I’d turn to ice

And she’d have to let me be

 

However sweet her face was

Could be asinine to me

One morn to wake and find a fake

Had swapped me suddenly

 

However deep her trust was

Would be shallower in me

My introspection: self-rejection

Doubting I was free

 

However snared her life was

The trap was down to me

I allowed my light to shine too bright

And it was only temporary

 

However lost her soul was

It was floating down with me

To rest in a place I cannot face

And that's Eternity

 

However sad she then was

It wasn’t her, it was me

That slices-up life with a carving-knife

To live with a memory

 

However strong her love was

She could never marry me

Those perilous seas of inconstancies

Would wreck the fantasy

　

                             

                       …However, how missed she now was!

                       That such Love could come from me!

                       But what sort of devotion’s this kind of emotion?

                       A misguided bend on one knee.

Reviews

[Stammers]

Amazing. Poems are not very often turned inwards, this was done with honesty and although it was elegant and beautiful, it had a modern undertone, maybe created by the repetitive imagery of the carving knife.

'However hot her flesh was' - tactile, really effective.

The subtle word choices really add a 'not-so-nice' feeling to this. Flesh not skin, etcc. Part honest, part mournful, part demented. I think it's really good.

[MissWordSmith]

Great writing here~
I actually loved the rhyming scheme. Another poem of yours that was so unique and lovely!
I love the lines "And look inside to see"
Like, check to see the damage you are capable of, but so afraid, like a peeping child.
The words you used were really great, and the way in which you used them was fantastic.
Keep up the good work!
:)

[ashley]

This is amazing. Great job!