Hey, Lover Boy

In a moment she was gone

walked out of my life

though she hadn't even really

walked in

she caught my eye

and I caught hers

a flicker of recognition

but as she strode past

alas, so I held my position

She was everything I wanted

without ever knowing it

though recalling her face

is a blur

the way she dressed

moved and stepped

and the fall of her hair

in a soul-gasping moment

a glimpse of a stare

But the timing was wrong

the situation awkward

a stranger's eyes

in a crowded room

no convention works

that makes magic live

it cannot be done

that behaviour won't do

so sit and stay seated, my son

It should have been a movie

an outrageous scene

a sudden explsosion

of impossible music

all sound, all dance

a cast of everyone

jump up and join-in

me standing on a table

she laughs and I sing

But life isn't like that

and I dance in my room

ecstatically alone

imagining it's happening

but I can't impose a scene

on accepted reality

for it didn't write the song

and cannot say the words

it seems it's just the dream that is wrong

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

Life isn't a movie, indeed. You have so brilliantly captured that feeling of looking at someone who you know is the one for you. But the jubilation that normally accompanies such a moment in the movies does not always occur in life, and the soul crushes when you see her walk away, knowing that you might never see her again.

" It should have been a movie

an outrageous scene

a sudden explsosion

of impossible music

all sound, all dance

a cast of everyone

jump up and join-in

me standing on a table

she laughs and I sing"
That verse alone conjures everything one can expect to find in movies, and it is a treat to the senses. The way you continue so matter-of-factly with "But life isn't like that" is beautiful. Brilliant, my friend!

[Devons]

You are artistic gratification personified, my friend. Thank you deeply.
You know, this sort of thing happens to me almost every day!

[Crowley]

James Blunt's song You're Beautiful comes to mind on this one, probably because it is one of my Sunday Karaoke standards...lol. It speaks to my thoughts that there are people in this world, in this case a woman who may very well have been what you might call a soul mate, as I don't believe that most people will meet a soul mate their entire lives in most cases. But regardless of gender, these people speak to you in ways that are too familiar and very comfortable and many time the glance is so fleeting there is nothing you can do. Great writing as always, you can always be counted on to set the perfect scene.

[Beccy]

A revisit; one of the pleasures of scrolling the back pages of Writers Cafe.

Beccy.

[Taylor]

I don't usually review poetry because I know little about it. For me, much of it leaves me scratching my head and saying to myself, "What the heck is that about?" Sort of stream of consciousness stuff from the poet's mind that doesn't connect with my touch of reality. However, this poem is entirely clear, concise and poignant. The experience that most have shared and said eloquently and efficiently. My suspicion is that many of us have a list of enigmatic people who've passed nearby, given a spark that for whatever reason we found riveting but were unable to respond to. Thanks for fostering some pleasance reminiscing.

[Devons]

I know you don't usually read poetry, so I'm gratified that you should enjoy reading this one.
I used to have the same attitude towards poetry and it's only in the last 6 years or so that I began writing in this form. I've always tried to be as clear and unpretentious as possible. I want what I have to say to be comprehensible to anyone, as much as possible - if it has to be explained or decoded then that is a failure in communication as far as I'm concerned. And if people wanna read 'Finnegan's Wake', then they can have it. If that makes them feel intellectual...
Thanks, Taylor. Much appreciated indeed.

[Beccy]

Carpe diem writ large.

Two little words that trip
so lightly of the tongue,
but so, so easier said
than actual done. :)


Beccy.

[Devons]

A great way to review a poem! Thank you very much, Beccy.

[Bear]

Masterfully written, you captured the mystical feeling of excitement (controlled fear for some) that breath taking beauty always seems to instill. It is apparent that you are a talented writer (it would not surprise me if you had script writing experience) and this could just as easily expanded from a poem into a novel. Great read, I look forward to reading more of your work this afternoon.

[Devons]

Good God! I think I may have stumbled across a real READER!! I'm not sure that's happened much during my time here!
As a matter of fact, when I began writing properly (as in grown-up) it was indeed film and tv scripts that I concentrated on. Unsuccessfully. I find poetry is by far the best medium for the release of ideas (and it doesn't take as long!).
Oceans of appreciative thanks. I bow in gratitude.

[Bear]

I have dipped my toe in most avenues writing can take one, and made money except poetry. It is my escape, my hobby, my passion and the last thing I want is to turn it into a job!! Besides I have been having fun here helping a number of younger writers and others who English is not their native language and no amount of money could equal this much fun :~)

[Devons]

Never a truer word spoken.
I stopped trying to make a success from writing a long while ago (with scripts I had to comply far too much with conventional themes and ordinariness) I found it better to write purely for myself, and then I discovered I liked writing poetry - and then I found it better quicker too!

[Bear]

If you find the right editor to work with it makes all the difference, I had the luck of having the same editor for over 3 decades with 4 different publishers and I could have never made it without her. As she always said she went to school to learn all the rules but didn't have the imagination to create so together we made one fine writer :~)

[Devons]

Ha! Yeah, true. Like her honesty. The truth is, the kind of thing I wanted to write was too damn different get on the tv in England. Ground-breaking went out in the 80s!

[Bear]

You don't mean Benny Hill do you?

[Devons]

Nah, he was a great writer!

[Maja]

What I love about your writing is that it leaves this heavy feeling in my heart that makes it difficult for me to breathe. It happened again with this poem. Sometimes, we fall in love not with the person but with our idea of the perfect person for us. And so when we - not even meet - but when we see such a person, we feel this strong urge to just whisk them away and share our future with them, and it happens in our heads so quickly that the other person breaks our heart without even knowing it, because we have already explored the possibility of a life with them. And you captured that moment in a heartwrenchingly perfect way. You are amazing as always.

[Devons]

It's difficult to know what to say after that. But thank you multiplied!

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Oh, what a treat to read your eloquent words! This poem is such a lovely take on life as it is, and its hyper romanticism in movies and songs. Indeed, 'no convention works that makes magic live', right? Unfortunately, there are no quick recipes in life, and all relationships a work in progress. Yet, there is a quiet hankering for a bit of magic, eh?

[Devons]

For me, there has always been a hankering for a bit of magic. Even if, in the end, it isn't really magic at all...
Thank you very much, my dear friend. It's very good indeed to read your reviews again. Your words are much missed and needed here!

[gabrielle]

"The timing was wrong, the situation awkward" This is the heart of the poem. It explains why the poetic voice did not pursue his desires. Sometimes we cannot ALWAYS get what we want. This is a reality that we must learn to accept.

[Devons]

Exactly so. But one can also accept the imagination... Harness that and take it into reality and what a time we'd have!

[Fran Marie]

Oftentimes we wish life had the perfect happy ever endings which movies have
but indeed life isn't like that..and we're left alone to dream that it was..
A well constructed piece here, Devons..much enjoyed

[Devons]

Thank you kindly, FM. Funnily enough, after I'd written it I was reminded of the scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off where he jumps on to a parade float and sings "Twist and Shout". The image I used of the girl is Ferris's girlfriend.

[Fran Marie]

Yeah, right ..I remember that movie..and that particular scene..good movie..
you're welcome..Devs

[~]

You should have just left your position and ran after her. :D

[Devons]

I should have, of course, that's the point. But where would the music come from...?