Genesis

I can tell you almost everything about the situation I am currently in, and very little at the same time. In this moment let me fully express this fucked up situation I find myself in as best I can. I am stressed the hell out, but at the same time I am so heavy my body refuses to move. I feel as if it has been years since I blinked last. I have the urge to blink, but I can not imagine not looking away for one moment. My mind is busy cataloging all the bull s**t that led to this very moment. All I can smell is that dry metallic sent, I feel like I am soaking in it. My hands twitching, almost as if I was attempting to cast some spell. 

My apologies, you probably have no idea what I am looking at. I truly thought I had figured out some new life hack. Be unapologetically yourself. I do not think that s**t worked. I attempted to exist within the confines of my coping mechanisms. I wanted to be my faults so badly I just told myself that was truly what I loved and who I was. However, right now I am standing in front of a dead cop in a country town, with whom I was in love with. Still don’t see the big deal, well you heard it was a small town, right? Just add these details. I am a male. The dead policeman is a married to a lovely woman who practices criminal law, and (feel like this also the most important) I am black. I’m not talk about passing either. I am dark skin, with locs, and a pretty nice a*s (sorry bragging helps me cope). 

You interested to know how I got here? Maybe I will just explain what happened and you tell me because I have no f*****g clue. 

I do not care for the term “chapters” though. So, for the time being we can break them down as the ten plagues in the book of Exodus. Do not make fun, I used to be really into the Bible.