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For Nixie's Competition

And so I finally find peace,
solace in blue sea, sky, the white wisp of cloud,
salty breeze in the air, a crackle of pebbles
as I walk to the waters edge
where seaweed slides under the surface.
A foot splashes before being joined by the other,
cold skin shivers, goose pimples.
I look straight ahead, there, on the horizon,
where she waves is where I will go.
My body launches into flotsam and jetsam,
effluent and little fishes, feeling free floating
in the ocean. I close my eyes,
I know there will be no cries, only silence.
Final breath bubbles are swept away,
lost in the foam of immersing spray,
surrendering to the seabed, where crabs
crawl and barnacles slowly bite onto bones.
True friends forever hidden in the depths
And so I finally find peace.

Reviews

[Elena Rojas]

I really like the syllable pattern you put in the poem, and the way you described the ocean. I myself have never seen the ocean, so I have not an idea how it feels to be on the ocean. But alas, I can relate to the fact that I find peace in nature, and in what is around me. Keep up the good work! I can't wait to hear more from you! ;-)

[Sarah K Cass]

Clever with the beginning end "and so I find peace".

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was a write right up my line. I love the ocean and I love this beautiful poem. Well done.

[Red Raven]

'Final breath bubbles are swept away, '
- The lines are very powerful and easy to put the message across. but this one touch me the most. Thank you for the read Gary.
RedRaven

[Anjali]

Very well written, Gary. So you finally found peace and name it home. I loved your poem. Keep writing more.

[Tina H.W.]

You took me with you. I felt as though I was an invisible friend, walking alongside.
So beautifully written.
Lovely piece :)

[Sam]

I could literallly picture what u hav described!...nicely written!😊

[Srishti Agrawal]

Lovly job..... ..........

[Syd]

This is beautiful. It is so full of raw emotion and to me has a sense of you being willing to follow this woman wherever she may go. Maybe it's a love poem, maybe you're escaping-- I really don't know. But either way, it's wonderfully written.

[Giulia King]

As I read this I really felt at peace. It felt like I was on the beach, somewhere beautiful