I wrote this for my dearest and was too embarrassed to send it to her. Instead I entered the poem into a competition........see below (in the note for reviewers what was said).
Melting into the luscious grass,
Cool air breezing lightly,
Refreshing senses.
Turning to say tender words,
Realising you are not there,
Instead alive in my thoughts,
I say them anyway,
To a buttercup,
All alone.
One flower,
A wish for hope,
Blowing a kiss
Up to the fluffy white clouds
Travelling the skies,
Believing in my heart
Dreams come true,
And one day,
I will be with you.
'Before going any further, Gary, let me make one thing clear.....your poem was selected for publication, and as a contest semi-finalist, on the basis of your unique talent and artistic vision'......Now send some money and see your poem transform into a 'classic, coffee-table quality hardbound volume - printed in two colours on fine-milled paper specifically selected to last for generations'. At this point I laughed rather a lot but thought everyone here should be aware at how easy it is to get taken in by offers that paint you as a wonderful writer!
My Review
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Faint heart never won fair lady She would have truly appreciated your words
Every one who enters these contests is a winner Most of us have been taken at some time
I know I certainly was.You are a wiser man now and realise if you post in the cafe you will get an honest feedback from those who have no axe to grind
A pleasant write to read ,well chosen words in poetic prose but I am certain she would have found much more to praise than I do
'Melting...tender...believing...dreams' are the key words in this delightful mood piece in which you capture the optimism of a distant love. Very positive and showing the human spirit at its best, when thinking of another or others.
Awww this is such a sweet write. =) I love buttercups when I was a kid I use to always have a bunch in my room. My mom use to say if you put it under your chin and its yellow you like butter lol. Great write.
This sounds like you miss the one your saying it to. Its almost like your saying a pray, a whisper of love sent on a breeze up above. I liked this piece alot, I find it very powerful and beautiful. A creatice piece that is wonderfully written.
PS. I love the authors notes.lol
PSS. I hope you gave up your pay check to get it published.lol
Aww this was so sweet. Specially loved the vivid images you created with your perfectly placed words. The softness of hope clearly shines through specially with your closing lines...
Believing in my heart,
Dreams come true,
And one day,
I will be with you.
Just leaves your readers with one big sigh filled with content knowing in the end love will always win.
i thought it was beautiful - such a great piece of writing - great images
it makes me think back to when i was a kid and the yard was filled with this tiny little yellow flowers - i would pick them and put them in a little vase...
I love how you paint the words into peoples minds so when they read it they can picture the image in their mind.
This poem is so full of hope that you will be with your lover again someday and you are just not giving up and are just beliving
"Up to the fluffy white clouds
Travelling the skies
Believing in my heart,
Dreams come true,
And one day,
I will be with you."