I wrote this for my dearest and was too embarrassed to send it to her. Instead I entered the poem into a competition........see below (in the note for reviewers what was said).
Melting into the luscious grass,
Cool air breezing lightly,
Refreshing senses.
Turning to say tender words,
Realising you are not there,
Instead alive in my thoughts,
I say them anyway,
To a buttercup,
All alone.
One flower,
A wish for hope,
Blowing a kiss
Up to the fluffy white clouds
Travelling the skies,
Believing in my heart
Dreams come true,
And one day,
I will be with you.
'Before going any further, Gary, let me make one thing clear.....your poem was selected for publication, and as a contest semi-finalist, on the basis of your unique talent and artistic vision'......Now send some money and see your poem transform into a 'classic, coffee-table quality hardbound volume - printed in two colours on fine-milled paper specifically selected to last for generations'. At this point I laughed rather a lot but thought everyone here should be aware at how easy it is to get taken in by offers that paint you as a wonderful writer!
My Review
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Faint heart never won fair lady She would have truly appreciated your words
Every one who enters these contests is a winner Most of us have been taken at some time
I know I certainly was.You are a wiser man now and realise if you post in the cafe you will get an honest feedback from those who have no axe to grind
A pleasant write to read ,well chosen words in poetic prose but I am certain she would have found much more to praise than I do
Very simple, yet there is so many words that describe the longing of the love you write this for. A very beautiful piece and stated in a way that if I were on the recieveing end of this piece I would be blushing.
wonderful write.
xoxo
Lovely...+++***Lovely....+++***Lovely....+++***
You set a standard. Honestly. I enjoyed every word.
With complete sincerity,
Natasha.
[in reference to the note, ah, just another day in Poetry.com land, eh? the words ring with their truth :-)]
awwww. you are right, this is like fudge, almost too sweet...almost....lol
a great tale of longing. I understand it as I feel this whenever the one I love is not with me. I can't imagine the longing one must feel never having their loved one around, or only around for short periods with long breaks in between. And yes, an important lesson to be careful of some "contests" like poetry.com
Deeply heartfelt. I love it. The simplicity of the lines and that single flower brings a delicate image in my mind. Bless your gentle heart, I think your choice of flower couldn't be more innocent and lovely. :)
Aww, lovingly romantic :) I thought that this was extremely beautiful. You're right, it really does refresh the senses so much, because the scent of love always makes one's soul feel so good with the love that it gives. But always be on the look-out for the scams, tho, that want to take ur money. They'll say anything to get inside ur wallet hehe. Very well done!!
Yes, you too can submit 24 of your poems and pay $25 to enter. You may be chosen to be published. I can just see them cashing those checks for $25 x 100. Great business!
Your poem though should be published. It is quite striking and lovely. I'm a big buttercup fan and this has a special feeling for me. A beautifully written poem. Your words are gorgeous!
And you say you have trouble writing romance? You seem like a natural to me, many a woman would be pleased to read this. Even better, you've been offered publication? WOW!! The one you wrote this for must be wowed indeed Gary! Way to go on a very well written romantic poem, I can relate to it especially well since I am waiting to see Carrie again. :)
One flower,
A wish for hope,
Blowing a kiss
Up to the fluffy white clouds
Travelling the skies
Believing in my heart,
Dreams come true,
And one day,
I will be with you.
Magnificent lines. :) Going to be thinking along them for two more weeks.