Colour me in Kisses

Crimson lines drip down endlessly
Outside a body, inside I WANT to feel you.
Let me open a door
Open until I can see
Understand the struggle you fight
Realise your pain, release your heart.

My world is yours
Emotions affected by the cut.

Incision of that blade hurts me too
Not seen or felt by you.

Knives dig into my body
I let them, want them.
Spurting blood sees demons laugh
Sensing relief when life has no reason.
Enticing I will cry - 'come with me now'
Showering you forever in affection, care and love.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I'm uncomfortable about blood so I can't focus too well on this. But these two lines catch my eye "Incision of that blade hurts me too" and "Knives dig into my body" ... in fact I read them before I read the first line. Thinking about this as far as I can, it is a loving plea couched in the language of the cutter to try and find another way. Strong, bold poem.

[Nikki]

Wow, its like all the memories that i wanted to forget has come back in a simple poem. i love these types of poesm. well not the emo exactly but you know what i mean. Considering i use to do this i thought you captured the emotions correctly though i think you had a feel mistakes. or it could just be me. got its almost four in the morning, so if my comments dont really make sense im really sorry.

"Spurting blood sees demons laugh"
did you mean
"Spurting blood, as i see demons laugh" ??

This does cause you to reflect to understand what you're reading more. i love what you have done with the Colour me in Kisses. Clever. i think most lines don't exactly fit but i know how it is to write a poem that you need to find the words to reveal the message. Well good job.

all the love and such,
Nikki

[Lorraine Pearson]

This piece is heartfelt, and lovely. The lover wanting to share all that the beloved is experiencing--to include pain. (inside and out) This kind of dedication is rarely seen, and needs to be valued. I found this to be bittersweet to read...and I really adore what you did with the drops of blood! Great effect.
~Lorraiyne

[Dani California]

Wow! Beautiful. And painful. So very creative -- artistic.

Impressive work....

[[untitled]]

Very clever, but disturbing in the sense of dilemma. The cutting 'habit' is becoming all too prevalent in todays warped society and I hear a resounding cry for a loved one. This is a well-thought-out acrostic Gary and the dripping blood is a sinister touch that fits perfectly into your thread. (how did you do that?)
"Spurting blood sees demons laugh" How observant of you! Attention seeking and frustration are at the core of this behaviour...all too common for my liking. I can't say I enjoyed the pain in this, but I applaud the terrific writing skill you display here.
Cheers,
Helen :-))))

[John Stussy]

Not fun my arse! I enjoyed the images of this poem, it is a very exciting read, and the dripping blood only helps your words. Great poem.

[*** Hey Jude***]

This is anamazing acrostic piece! Full of affection for the one you love. The dripping blood is very eye catching, great work! ~ Jude :-)

[Maxwell]

I love this. Violence and love? Powerfully masochistic.

I think what you reach here is the deep, almost unbearably personal feelings of someone not content with being separate, not okay being alone. There's an old concept (or maybe I read it in a poem somewhere) about this: "If you could turn yourself inside out, the whole universe would be inside you." Or something of the sort. I think that's what this character is feeling, that heaviness, that need to be full.

Again, very powerful, and very well done.

[Steven Pottle]

"Crimson lines drip down endlessly
Outside a body, inside I WANT to feel you"

I love how this forces me to think about how humans get excited by liquids...blood, juices, seaman, alcohol etc
How that relates to what's inside of us and how we work- our internal engines! And that we like to 'leak' now and again...fantastic write Gary!

[Kara Emily Krantz]

this is awesome. i don't read many acrostrics - LOVE the way you handled this, with such grace and class :)
'Incision of that blade hurts me too
Not seen or felt by you. "

yes yes yes

hugs

,3kara

[Sorrow The Dark]

very nice, the words are powerful and yet not strong the poem is dark but not too dark its a very good piece and the poem flows and goes together and tells the story behind it very well.