Bursting Light

Light of my life bursts through bright morning sky
Touching my soul, so desperate to fly
Cottonbud clouds shroud past regrets
Holding thumbs for when we first met

Soft breeze of passion sees love swimming in the air
Hands express pure gentleness running through your hair
Mischevious golden waves of inviting amber rays
Forever on fire, we dance, pulsate and sway

Smouldering skin, sensuous shoulders burn
Heat of the day says we never learn
Eyes move in places never caught in the shade
Love breathes forever in a breeze that never fades

Sometimes sad raindrops explode on the pavement
Watching them land sparkling with wry amusement
Destiny will save us, locked within stares
Flavours explode incandesecent with flair

Fancies and musings of shimmering moonbeams
Together at night in adoring dreams

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

Man, you've got it bad. Should I send over Dolly for a wee visit? Stephanie, even? Aw, shucks, Gary, the romance is oozing from your fingers now!!!! It's incredibly sickening, I mean, adorable. ; ) Your words lift me up to a fantasy realm....and make me want to linger there all day. Excellent work.

[FromOuterspace]

It's very...great, very wonderful.... 100 from me, pure love poetry...

[misscb]

Wow!!! This was so beautifully written... I loved the picture too... Well done!!!

[Goodbyeguilt]

'Hands express pure gentleness running through your hair' absolutely wonderful. Just that one line - the conclusion of how awesome it is to just waste time with that special one, of course we're convinced it's time well spent.
Honestly spell binding. :)

Regards,
GBG

This is a most brilliant piece! I feel like a certain moment was held and repeated most extravagantly! The feelings simply overflow when i read this! :)

[*i.L.k.R^^4EVR*......]

wow, the perfect words for this poem, i couldnt have written it any better.

[Patrica Alvarez]

Love is just one of those feelings that can bring so much out of a person. I love this

[Laura E. Aranda]

This is so visual stimulating....very beautiful write! I am in awe of the word power you have and truly use. Cheers,lea

[JohnL]

A fine poem with an interesting rythm and a lilt to its line. Not easy to achieve, I should thnk. A somewhat daring rhyme scheme where one word is just the vowel sound but its partner carries an 's' - but it works, Gary. It works.
It wil improve line 3, verse 2 if you spell mischievous correctly. It will remove a syllable from the word and the stress will automatically move from the second syllable to the first which will improve the rythm of the line. Try it!
One of the lovely things about this poem is that it explores both the heat and the gentleness of love and passion. Great picture too!
John

[Gandré]

thank you for sending this my way. I loved those lines best:

Touching my soul, so desperate to fly
Cottonbud clouds shroud past regrets
Holding thumbs for when we first met___________________ this is romance and uprising in one poem

Very intense read you do here the conventional kind of rhymed verse. The intensity in your words feels heavy and pathetic like medieval Italian theatre, indeed a vivid feeling when reading it. your poetic talent is obvious. great write!

[Oz]

Wonderful. The magery and sensory details you use here are stunning. This piece radiates love in every way. I could very vividly feel the warmth of your words. I keep coming back to these two lines...


Sometimes sad raindrops explode on the pavement
Watching them land sparkling with wry amusement


I love it. Great job Gary!

-Oz