All for nothing

Just a short piece, tears from a broken heart...

Couldn’t you see how much I loved you?

 

I thought about you always

In everything I did, I put you first

I gave me to you in all ways

I gave you water, to quench your thirst

 

I thought of you before I made any decision

Just to check how it would affect you

If a razor makes a cut,u made an incision

Every time I spoke to you I stayed true

 

Every where I went I had you

To me you were not one, you were all

If my heart was a kingdom you would rule

Without a ruler any kingdom would fall

 

All you ever asked of me I gave

I passed the city and a mansion

I chose to stay in a cave

All in the name of compassion

 

 

All along I thought it was a noble sacrifice

Now I’m beginning to doubt it

If what I gave was a thousand grains of rice

What I got in return was a ton of s**t

Reviews

[Pencrafter]

Your poem emotionally portrays a common source of heartache, namely, broken commitments and promises. When we open wide our hearts to someone we take a chance of experience real hurt. Your writing expresses this.

[Coyote Poetry]

"If what I gave was a thousand grains of rice
What I got in return was a ton of s**t"
I like the poem. A real life ending to a excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Talks To Trees]

The ending was interesting, but to the point :)

[Gazza]

Thank you

[Megan Simpson]

Although it was a sad and meaningful poem, I have to admit that I laughed a bit at the end. Good job!

[Gazza]

Thank you, i'm wondering what exactly made you laugh.

[SmileBig :)]

Very good. You can tell your pain. But my only criticism would be to check the flow of this.
Iike "every time I spoke to you I stayed true" it seems a little long. Maybe change it to "everytime we spoke, I stayed true."
We'll, that's only my idea, and you totally can think its awful cause I am fairly new at writing poetry :) anyway, it's obvious you have talent. :)

[Gazza]

Lol thank you for taking time to read and advise, you can never know enough so i'll always appreciate your ideas

[SmileBig :)]

Anytime :)

[Calypso]

Heart felt

[Harley (arbiter)]

I can relate very nicely! Great job

[Gazza]

thanks

[Weeping Willow]

Beautiful I hope to read alot more stuff like this

[Gazza]

You will you will, thanks

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

This poem is beautiful!
100/100

[Gazza]

Thank you

[Tai Ryens]

Unrequited love is the worst kind of love. I do say, you have talent; it just needs polishing.

[Gazza]

That's encouraging, will work at becoming better every day.