Love Poem

You are the mirror of my mind
The rib from me He's taken
The call from Heaven screaming
You are a love story

And when the ground below is cracking
That path we've walked in faith

And when the darkened castles come
Claiming the mud and clay deformed

And when hearts are filled with violence
and fear does not reside

And when the proud seas declare war
on us. Men, the race of God

And when the mighty mountains fail
The Heaven's floor does rise

We'll hold on to each other
in spite of what they say

We'll walk whats left of Yahweh's path
We'll take it day by day

Author's Note

I wrote this while listening to "Just the Two of Us" (LOL!)

For a friend

Reviews

[Dev]

This is a really well written piece. It has deep meaning and great imagery to it. I actually get what you're saying really well

My fav part was the last 2 ending lines

"We'll walk whats left of Yahweh's path
We'll take it day by day"

a great way of ending the note in hope.

[Dusty]

Wow... best doomsday poem I've read in a while... I like the referring to Yahweh instead of just God or Lord.. it adds alot of character... Great job again!

[PaperHearts]

This was really beautiful! I loved your choice of words in this poem. The descriptions were so ornate and evocative, and I really felt like the words carried the emotion. The ending was a perfect summary of the whole piece. :D
~PaperHearts

[Taylor H.]

great poem. I loved the first stanza

[Keevan]

really well written ^_^

Zesika-chan

[Krazy On The Outside]

I really like this piece. Great job here!
I liked how it kind of seemed to rhyme and then it didn't really rhyme.

[deeps]

This is a very well written piece here. I like this alot. Wonderful imgaeery and detail. Well done.

[Red Brick Keshner]

Lots of movement, imagery, and suggestion. Very engaging.

[Saturn's Lover]

Aw, how sweet. I really liked this one. Lovely imagery. First you see Genius and then i get a taste of St. John the Apocalypse. But a sweet love story all in all.

[The Perfectionist]

Boy, I probably never would have come near your stuff if you hadn't requested it. As I said in another review, I don't usually touch things that have 10+ reviews already, and I make it a point to avoid things that touch on religion, because it's just not worth offending people.

That being said, this is, as you put it "a love story", and it's done both sweetly and respectfully. Much better than half of the sap on me, though that being said I'm not sure if you were talking about a friend or a "friend". If it's the former, so much the better. If it's the latter, then this may be a little...weak.