Let me take you on a journey...

Let me take you on a journey...

A Story by Onatah

Let me take you on a journey…

Walk, now, into the clear painted ceiling. There's a sky waiting for you. The stars shine brighter above you as you feel your body start to reduce. You're not moving towards them; the sky is coming to you. You feel the distant consumptions as though they are right before you. The air enters your lungs without inhaling. It flows through your skin without breaking. You see colors that have never existed, from objects that haven’t been born. You hear noises that feed you a language, spoken by lips with an unbroken seal. Your thoughts stretch farther than limitless. You are something you've been before.

© 2011 Onatah


Author's Note

Onatah
What promoted me? Dreams, prayers, knowledge. It is my attempt to capture those moments when I have them.

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I like the 'reader involvement' that you use.. it feels personal. I think that if you push yourself a bit more with the limits of the description.. that could push this to even greater heights. I mean its good what you have, but I feel you have even more of the story to tell..

Good job with the atmospheric notions..

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This journey does, indeed, feel like a dream. I'd be a bit put off by the idea of walking toward something (the ceiling), but not moving toward it were this not a dream. I'm not sure what the distant consumptions are... The ending is a bit of a surprize (a pleasant one) - after all the dreaming to wnd up being something I've (the reader) never been before... maybe the elements of the dream persist subconciously (they must have or you wouldn't jhave written about them). Good writing.

Posted 14 Years Ago


this is a great and rare interpretation of astral projection, not many people write on the subject, it has to be experienced. and you give the reader
a valuable sense of the whole experience in glimpses. stunning job on this,
keep it up

Posted 14 Years Ago


You hear noises that feed you a language, spoken by lips with an unbroken seal. Your thoughts stretch farther than limitless. You are something you've been before.


This was lovely. I oft feel as though I have been before and will be again and I grasp at this life as it slips through clenched fists.
Please continue.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I need more story. A good beginning.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh. Thank you for sending me this read request. I read it at a perfect time. I really think this may be a part, in some sense, of what possibly heaven is like. Thanks again for writing it, it makes you feel inspired, when you read.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is amazing! I felt so peaceful and serene, but also angelic... The feelings evoked from this are so... perfect. Amazing...

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

:)

You didn't say you were interested in the "mystical"...
It is very tempting beginning. What now? What happens next? When have I been that before?
Why have you written that?
What promoted you?

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The metaphors in this piece is truly beautiful. This was simply an amazing piece.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Dev
You've taken me into a world where nothing seems to be impossible. I loved this write !!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the 'reader involvement' that you use.. it feels personal. I think that if you push yourself a bit more with the limits of the description.. that could push this to even greater heights. I mean its good what you have, but I feel you have even more of the story to tell..

Good job with the atmospheric notions..

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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481 Views
20 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on December 14, 2009
Last Updated on January 13, 2011


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