In 1999, few people who were closed to me died abruptly - my uncle, my father and one of my good friends. While my uncle died of heart attack and my father of an accident, my friend had committed suicide. Since childhood, i only had heard of deaths but had never seen the dead body. But this time, i was closely associated with all the arrangements. Worse, i remember myself washing my father's body as well - this was extremely weird but this was a ritual.
A year or more had passed and their memories were waning. But some nights (or mostly i would say), i would see one of them entering into my dreams and screwing my sleep as hell. With time though, i started enjoying such dreams. In the morning, just when i would wake up, i would spend a minute or so recollecting such dreams. Mostly, it would become a waste exercise. But some times, i could remember the dreams and would keep it in my memories. I also would try to make sense out of the dreams but never got successful.
One night i saw my dead friend talking to me in hush voices in my dream. He was saying something in my ear and i could not hear it. There were noises around. But when i concentrated, i heard him saying -"Soon the air will get cold and blankets will keep us warm. You will mix your rice with dirty pulses and walking chicken. Don't boil the chicken. It hurts." Next, i saw an open village where naked children were jumping into the black water river. I saw a child inside the river drowning and shouting. He was helpless. None could help him. I rushed towards the river to save him but i fell as soon as i started. My head hit on the rock and my sleep vanished in pain. I woke up hurt. I remembered this dream afterwards and tried to make sense but in vain.
Another night, i saw my friend taking me inside a room. I remembered this room in my dream because it was where he had committed suicide. I saw him picking up a hammer and a knife. He put his head on the side-table and started hitting hammer on it with right hand. I could sense the pain it could have caused. But he was laughing. With each stroke, his laugh got intense. His head was all red and hair soaked in blood. Next, he picked up the knife and put it on his neck. He started sliding the knife in the front of his neck. A spill of blood flew over the floor. He threw the knife and started collecting the blood on his hand and drank some. He saw me all of a sudden and ran towards me. I ran in response but fell as soon as i started - my head hitting on the door this time. And soon my sleep vanished in pain again.
Such nightmares got common. And then i decided to think over it all. I remembered the first dream where a child was drowning and a village. I looked at the FB profile of my friend and found that he belonged to a village in Bihar - where he spent his childhood. I guessed that it might be that the child was my friend only. But i was not sure because i could not complete my dream. What i did then, over the weekend, i went over all the way to the village. I asked locals about my friend and his family and found out his patriarchal home. As i knocked on the door, a lady of about 70 years opened it. She was his mother. I told her everything about the dreams. After a pause she told me about the child.
She told me that the child in my dream was my friend only. And he didn't drown that day. The locals were able to save him. There were correlations - between him drowning, he hammering his head and slicing his neck and even killing himself finally. It was because he had a suicidal tendency since childhood which increase as he got old. He wasn't drowning because of the mistake. It was his own decision.
And now after his death too, he was appearing in my dreams to fulfill his desire to kill himself again.
But me? Ohh, i was afraid. Because i knew he was trying to impose his desires on me as well. And everytime, i would be hurting myself in dreams. This would be crazy as hell but i decided to fight him.
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