Illusions

yeah...hmm..?

The illusions of happiness that I show
Trying to make believe through this sorrow
When I fake a smile you know
I’ll never admit it, though

I’ll try to act out this play
And at the end of the day
I’m praying you will pay
Cover up my misery and dismay
Oh,
Illusions of happiness
Getting me into one awful mess
Because in the end I must confess
I begin to hate you less

Friends whisper “they would be the best!”
Although I try to explain the situation’s just messed
I groan,”Come on and give it a rest”
What I didn’t know was that she had confessed

Millions and millions of sighs
So many private cries
Even if she can read my eyes
I hate my failed attempts, my un-finished tries

Illusions of happiness
Getting me into one awful mess
Because in the end I must confess
I begin to hate you less

Reviews

[Tali Katzman]

It's a good poem,the idea is pretty good but I have to say the rhyming gets in the way,I just can't look past that.Not every single word that end the sentence has to ryhme with the next,but if it's your style then so be it.

[Lydia R. Ferraro]

Might I just make a simple suggestion?...feel free to disreguard, it's just that this reminds me so much of my old journal enteries, the rhyme and flow especially. It seems that you've forced the words into place to keep with the ryhme. Maybe you could try free verse sometime and then attempt to work in a rhyming pattern? I think this would really help improve the overall flow. Again, not a harsh critique...I quite enjoy the "I begin to hate you less" but the overal rythem throws me off.

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

OMG I LOVE THIS POEM!!!!
Seriously I'm am amazed!!
The flow is perfect...use of words:perfect...Relateabily:perfect!!
Great Write!!!