Un Reve

i requested this
these
i even paid and
tipped
appropriately
i believe i
thanked you
whole-heartedly
but that was
then
and you know what this
is
perhaps i was
sinning
on multiple,
different
levels
perhaps i, too,
was
bowing down at
a carved image
my release,
escape
from all that the world has
done onto me
but i suppose they
meant and
still mean
something
because if not for the love
of those close to me
and the regret pressing
heavily
on my
heels
i'd ask for them
yet again