Dust Forms The Suburbs

Dust forms the suburbs.

Houses for steps to an Arcadian skyline,

A windows view in the lattice of nature’s branch.

 

Attention sweeps to the mixing light, as

The midnight dome shines upon us.

Each glimmer a distant soul,

Starved of its salvation

From its eternal blue-washed home.

 

Spindles of flame, on the trail of rectification,

With freedom sought upon the climbing wind

Through the wisps of texture that lie within.

My once lost hand now leads my eye,

This time it shall be amongst the search

For the anger that bleeds my soul dry.

 

One thought now lifts above the haze,

That which gives us sight may blind us.

Author's Note

Right, I have no idea. I was in a petrol station (gas station to our American friends) and i had random lines. I jotted them down, trying to piece them together. Any help is appreciated, needless to say i'm working on it!

Reviews

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

Gary I read this piece three times to allow it to speak to my heart. It has lead me to someone stuggling to find home...to find rest..to find peace. However, there is hope in this line " My once lost hand now leads my eye..." Well crafted Gary. You have expertly woven the quest of this "once" lost soul with the cosmos or our reality, nothing is to be taken for granted.

Have a blesed Easter Weekend,
Vincent

[Tate Morgan]

You are now my favorite poet lol I do the same things writing lines and laying them everywhere Only to find my errant lost soul in them sometime else

[Jeannie Wilder]

"This time it shall be amongst the search
For the anger that bleeds my soul dry"
I'm not quite sure why... but I adore this line. There's so much you could do with it! ( that's me asking you to write something with that line as the focus? yes? no?)
One of the things I like best about writing is that obscure things can cause lines to form. This random inspiration make the piece worth something in the sense that it's not pretty words put together ( which I admittedly do ... )there is a prompt behind it. So thank you for the author's note, and well done! :)

[Alicante lullaby]

A sophiscated sufi write...
that which gives us sight may blind us....just a hunch Gary but it does seem synonymous to ''Heard melodies are sweet but those unheard are sweeter''....we strive for things that ultimately lead to huge nothingnesses...and this rogue quality to it...feels kinda new to your style...yours has always been perfect rhyme and rhythm...nice change....and this is simply umph....out of this world...lovely,you all are sooo talented...

[Ellen Hammond]

Profound and somewhat mystical. Every line tells a story by itself. Lots of great metaphors here as well as a lot to ponder. It is wide open to the reader's interpretation. I've read it 3 times and seen it differently. Great job!

[An owl on the moon]

There is such a misty, mystic quality here, in somber colors and shades... A depth of reason and emotion pouring across the landscape... Each line like a photo, and all together speak a message of the world.. living in little boxes... Excellent write!

[.]

for me, this is good writing...I like the disjointed nature of your thoughts here

if I may suggest...some commas and line breaks would serve this piece well
I feel the need to let the reader settle in on the words, particularly in the closing lines

good stuff, GM

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I agree, free flow is the best poetry cause it is raw honest emotions... I see this as a hunt for inner peace by way of embracing past mistakes.

[cest la vie]

Do not change a word.. in cases like this, free flow is the best writing..
I agree with Tommy's review.. The "dream" we all aspire to..

great writing