Shopping For The Mother In Law

Just a little Christmas ditty..nothing special

                                                                SHOPPING FOR THE MOTHER IN LAW

I was out Christmas shopping

When the mother-in law came to mind

Exactly what to get her

Had put me in a bind

Maybe a big rusty bear trap

I could put it by her bed

Or I could sneak it under her pillow

And it might take off her head

I know she likes a tipple

So get her something she could drink

Maybe a bottle of bleach

Or what you use to unblock a sink

I could get her a big fat juicy steak

That could be driven through her heart

It might only be a stocking filler

But at least it was a start

Maybe a day out bungee jumping

She could wear it like a noose

They could tie it with six big knots

To ensure it won't come loose

An all expenses trip to Dignitas

I could book her in for just next week

Oh I just have to get her something

Or her Christmas will be bleak

I could bake her a Christmas cake

Filled with Juniper berries and foxglove

Decorated with a big shiny bow

And send it with all my love

Get her something soft and cuddly

I hear man eating lions are all the rage

She could give it free roam of her house

So no use getting it a cage

Or maybe an oil burner filled with scented oils

That could freshen up her place

I wonder if there's one called Ebola

That might rot off her face

I could get her a parachute jump

One that doesn't use a chute

She'd have such a laugh when she pulled the cord

She'd think it was a hoot

Now Christmas day will soon be here

I'm rapidly running out of time

I suppose as a last resort

I could go check Amazon Prime

Reviews

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Woahhh hey king of wicked humour , fantastic scintillating way you pull old mom in laws legs with this poem hopefully she's too gaga to read and not lady Gaga . I was rolling with laughter ESP with the man eating lion, Ebola , chute without a cord and bungee jumping lol lol, bear trap and kitchen sink....now you have given me ideas, ok not to be tried really but I surely do feel like teasing and torturing my imperious bossy mother in law too. Kudos.!!😂 keep writing.

Pls Pleez do read and comment on my newest poem.