One Night Stand

                                                  ONE NIGHT STAND

I was at a birthday party

Met a girl so sweet and nice

She asked if I wanted nookie

She didn't have to ask me twice

We headed off to her house

We were hardly through the door

Both standing there half naked

Our clothes spread on the floor

She had the body of a goddess

Perfect in every way

Various body parts that were on display

I couldn't wait to play

Then there came a growling sound

He came running down the stairs

He had his hackles up

On his back up were all his hairs

I could tell he didn't like me

I could see it in his eyes

So I didn't like him either

Wasn't that a big surprise

Then he made a dive at me

Through the air he did fly

Sunk his teeth into my tadger

And I began to cry

I've a chihuahua on my willy

A doggy on my dick

I'm starting to feel faint

Get him off me quick

No matter how hard I shook it

His grip he would not release

I tried everything I could

Even threatening to call the police

I tried hitting him with a sauce pan

TV remote I tried that too

How to solve this dilemma

I just didn't have a clue

We both stood there helpless

Troubled by this hound

What if I started spinning

So I started to go around

Hoping central fusion

Might catch him unawares

He flew off and hit the wall

Mouth full of pubic hairs

I looked down at my willy

He was a bloody mess

Like he'd been 12 rounds with Tyson

He really was in distress

"A trip to A&E was in order"

Is what she finally said

You can imagine my reaction

"You must be off your head

Do you happen to have a band aid

You'd better make it more"

I gave the mutt a dirty look

As he cowered on the floor

She went and got some plasters

Some TCP and and a towel

When she dabbed my doo daa

I let out such a howl

I cleaned up my willy

The damage was plain to see

It'll work just like a sprinkler

When next time I have to pee

So my night of lust was a disaster

I was a nervous wreck

If I ever get lucky with that girl again

That dog I'll wring it's neck

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

So funny, a treat to read. So the moral of this tale has to be "beware of one nights stands". You might get bitten and not by the blonde or brunette you've picked up:))

Chris

[George David Hope]

Glad you enjoyed it. I'll be honest when I started coming up with this one it wasn't supposed to be anything like it turned out.

[Chris Shaw]

That is often the way:)

[George David Hope]

Just after I'd posted this reply to your review it came to me were the dog came from

[Samuel Dickens]

Ha-ha! I love this tale, even though it scared my willy. Outrageously funny, I dig your sense of humor. Sprinkler pee pattern--now that's not good at all.

[George David Hope]

Thanks for your kind words and glad you enjoyed it. Could say it's partly true. I was messing around with my ex just before Euro 92 and her dog thought he'd join in and I pushed him off and he bit my hand. I went to the hospital for a tetanus and when the nurse asked where he'd bit me I said Gateshead