Joys of Pregnancy

                                                               JOYS OF PREGNANCY

I was asked to write a poem

About a mother and child to be

So i settled down with pen in hand

But nothing came to me

I know nothing about having babies

Only the beginning when you have your fun

The bit where you're hot, naked and sweaty

In her oven to leave a bun

I know nothing about cravings

Or heart burn that will never end

Stretch marks that appear

And it's impossible to bend

Swollen ankles and toilet trips

And b***s that get so big

The phase "Their for the baby"

And eating like a pig

No idea about butterflies

When you get a baby kick

Or morning rushes to the toilet

Because you feel so sick

So I cannot write a poem

About pregnancy and what to do

Because I am just a simple man

So I haven't got a clue

Author's Note

A girl overheard a work colleague talking about my poems so bet me I couldn't come up with one about a pregnant woman (She was pregnant at the time). Within 15 minutes I had this in front of her

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Well for a man who says he doesn't know much about pregnancy (apart from them making of the babies) I think you have done a pretty good job here. It's a good job babies look so adorable once they are delivered, because otherwise perhaps women would consider the negatives too great a hurdle to climb. Enjoyed the read George. Very entertaining.

Chris

[George David Hope]

Glad you liked it....the girl i wrote this poem for was clueless....even refused to fall pregnant on her honeymoon in case the flight back effected the baby. I knew more than she did and the things she came out with during her pregnancy had us all scratching our heads.

[Chris Shaw]

Ah bless!! She's been listening to too many old wives tales. Hope she's started to build her knowledge base up now. She could be in for a shock if she thinks the stork is going to deliver her babe (lol)

[George David Hope]

She was huge and was still clueless. It wasn't as if she was only a couple of weeks. We all wished we could have been a fly on the wall when she was having it as the stuff she came out with was hilarious

[Chris Shaw]

Shouldn't laugh, but can't help it the way you have described it. Takes all sorts eh?

[George David Hope]

She honestly thought that when you woke up on the first day you were pregnant that you had the large stomach..that the baby was full size overnight

[Chris Shaw]

Now you are pulling my leg, you gotta be !!!!!Are you a yarn spinner?

[George David Hope]

No honest.....we couldn't believe the stuff she came out with....When she came back off her honeymoon she was moaning how her husband was desperate to get it on with her but she said he'd have to wait until they got home in case the flight back caused problems with the birth...I wish i could make stuff up like this it was priceless

[Chris Shaw]

It is hilarious. Poor bloke, hope he knew what she was like before he married her.

[barleygirl]

This is brilliant! Since I've never had children & haven't been too much of a baby admirer in my long life, I feel like a man might, on this topic. So I can say that you've really hit the ball out of the park with this sassy gem. There's nothing like a dare to get the ole muse riled up! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[George David Hope]

Glad you enjoyed it...I was just reading a poem to a work colleague and she thought I'd got it from a book. The girl I worked with told her it was all my own work and the girl didn't believe her so she said well if you wrote it could you do one about me being pregnant...so I did

[Kathleen A McCusker]

What is soooo wonderful And Relavent is that he is Trying to sense how Difficult an experience is, that he will Never have!

[George David Hope]

Glad you enjoyed it. Just thought back to what it was like for my ex when she was expecting our daughter. Thanks for the review and kind words