Santa's Revenge

                                                                       SANTA'S REVENGE

Santa came through the night

Left some presents by the tree

But when I looked Christmas morning

There was nothing there for me

I checked the tags, then checked again

But there was not a single one

There must be a huge mistake

All my gifts had gone

Then I saw a letter

It was addressed to me

I quickly ripped it open

What it said I had to see

"Dear little Georgie

I was going through my book

To see who's been bad or good

I thought I'd take a look

When I came to your name

I was taken a back a bit

It says all year you've been naughty

In fact you've been a little s**t

So I've gave away all your gifts

What I've made you throughout the year

I know you'll be upset

But i really do not care

So Georgie please behave yourself

Or next year too you'll get nowt

In fact neither will your parents

If they don't give you a clout"

Author's Note

Again another daft one

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Good use of rhyme & rhythm, to tell this caustic little tale that I love. I love the snarly attitude that’s dripping from your words. You use “setting up” generalities & “say-nothing” segue phrases -- this makes your storytelling more of a sing-song childlike tale in its simplicity. I feel you could pump up the drama by being more specific about what bad behavior you’re talking about here. I think this is a missed opportunity to escalate your caustic barbs to an almost lethal level. But instead, your message stays in elusive watered-down generalizations about the matter at hand. This isn’t a bad thing. Your poem is great writing. But I’m just saying, if you were inclined to do it, you could pump up your writing by not having so much “fluff” and by using hardcore descriptions & dynamic verbs more often (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[George David Hope]

Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the comments. As for using more hardcore descriptions I'd love to do it but I'd get a good hiding off my aunt who hates bad language (she wouldn't read this one all the way through as it has the s word in it). I've got so many poems that are near to the knuckle with naughty phases that can be taken more than one way but don't know if I should post them as I'd hate to upset people as I've just joined the site.

[Gee]

Post 'em all Georgie boy :))

[barleygirl]

I manage to express all my banalities without using much foul language! Learn to love words, you can find more outrageously descriptive words without making it a fuckfest!

[George David Hope]

I don't use any naughty words...never used a f or c word...I'd get a good hiding if I did