I Died And Went To Heaven

                                                               I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN

I died and went to heaven

Met St Peter at the gate

But god was really busy

So he said I'd have to wait

I had to take a number

Then go and take a seat

I joined a room of thousands

Their maker eager to meet

The room was oh so quiet

Angels flew in and out

I really wanted some angel wings

Of that I had no doubt

I sat and watched St Peter

Cross off names with a feathery tick

I couldn't believe I was in heaven

i didn't think that I was sick

I picked up a brochure

A guide to heaven is what it said

All you need to know

Now that you are dead

It had scenes of different heavens

For the life you'd had

Each one looked so lovely

I really did feel glad

They had heavens for little babies

And children with parks galore

Everything a kid could want

They couldn't ask for more

They had one for all the animals

Where they could run all day

I knew if I'd owned a dog

This is where he'd stay

They had a heaven for old people

Big bands would play non stop

Glenn Miller and his band

On the billing they would top

The heavens went on and on

Each and every kind

Which one they would pick for me

I really didn't mind

I saw angels carry sleeping babies

Other a guard of honour they did give

For the poor still borns

Who'd never had a chance to live

Suddenly it was my turn

So to Peter I did go

He asked me for my number

So my ticket I did show

He checked his book then checked again

But my name it did not appear

I think there must be a mix up

Of that I'm very clear

You'll have to go back to earth

At least until it is your time

How was I going to get back down

Was there a ladder I'd have to climb

He pulled a little lever

The ground it fell away

With a bump I was back in my body

So on earth I'd have to stay

Reviews

[Kathleen A McCusker]

This is my first review and I loved this poem! I loved the flow of it, the rhyming, the humanity and it kept me interested! I’m not sure how many poems you have written but this is a great one and thank you for enlightening me on something I wouldn’t have thought about.

[George David Hope]

Thanks for the review I really appreciate it.

[Kathleen A McCusker]

Do you write poems regularly and what kind of advice could you give me as I’m just starting and I’m over 50 years old? I mean really don’t think I would’ve started a little sooner LOL ?

[George David Hope]

I write poems as often as I can but it seems to come in phases...some weeks I cannot put one together the next I cannot write them fast enough as for advice that's a hard one as I just seem to write about anything that comes to mind but I know one important rule is to practice, practice, practice.

[Kathleen A McCusker]

David, I thank you for getting back to me and I can’t tell if what I just posted was eraced but once you make a poem can you then go back and tweak it even after you’ve posted it?

[Kathleen A McCusker]

When you say practice practice practice is that mean somebody who does not have natural talent such as myself should practice every day?

[George David Hope]

You can go to where it says my writing and it brings up a list of your work and you click on the pencil to edit it. Still getting used to the site myself as I only joined on Saturday. As for having no talent...you should see some of my first poems they are terrible but I found the more I wrote the better they seemed to become..read other peoples work too it seems to help too to see how other people structure their work...use anything to get idea's from and then try and come up with something. I did a poem about a desert in a vending machine once.

[Kathleen A McCusker]

Wow! In a vending machine? LOL! Where I live now, there so much inspiration for poetry and it puts me in the mind of John Keats and how he was so stimulated by nature to write the most amazing things that were ever written.

[Kathleen A McCusker]

I always thought you had to have natural talent but I’m starting to realize that it’s more of an effort and being inspired, correct ?

[George David Hope]

I just see what comes out...mainly rubbish but sometime you get a really gem.....I came up with a daft one as I was walking between two factories at work

Eric was a little earthworm
On his belly he would wriggle
When he used to move along
His worm bum used to wiggle.

Just write them as they come to me..plus you're the first one to ever hear this one.

[raj24]

Enjoyed it thoroughly, its fun and a great imagination. It was smooth and its flow kept me with it. Keep writing and sharing :)
Raj

[George David Hope]

Thanks for your kind words. Glad you enjoyed it

[barleygirl]

I would kill to have this much imagination! I started out thinking this was a creative approach to a writing a poem about death, but your wild imaginings caused this message to continue to pump up to an amazing level of fun & spellbinding possibilities. Your writing could use a little polish, but I also admire you for choosing to express your unvarnished enthusiasm rather than omit a word to even the rhythm from line to line. I love rhyme & rhythm -- you always do it well. This is a top-notch effort! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Oh by the way . . . the geriatric section is playing rock-n-roll nowadays becuz the orchestral types have moved on *smile*

[George David Hope]

Glad you enjoyed it. If you think I need to change a few things around to help it flow better please don't be afraid to let me know where it could be improved. Thanks for your comments and kind words

[barleygirl]

Line 11 -- needs to be trimmed to even out the rhythm, but your enthusiasm is too contagious to expect you to try to curb it by sacrificing the way you express yourself. There are several other lines where you just seem to get carried away & break with your rhythmic pattern! *smile*

[George David Hope]

Changed it to some angel wings instead of want a pair of angel wings. Just noticed you said other lines too so I'll have to try and sort out the rhythm

[Onlyme]

Lovely poem with heartfelt warm sentiments and a caring way and flow about all empathic snd sincere. gives you comfort knowing god really cares as do his angels for all.

[George David Hope]

So glad you liked it. Thanks for your kind comments.

[Chris Shaw]

I really enjoyed this poem because it painted a picture of a heaven that I wish existed. A special place for stillborns, for children and animals as well as old people. I have to say that I am pleased you are here to relate your story. Many smiles, you have given some to me.

Chris

[George David Hope]

Thanks a lot for your kind words. Really glad you enjoyed my little ditty.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Wow what a super cool imaginative poem, humoured and witty fun. Fantastic to read in flow and rhyme like u have done awesomely well. Kudos.


Hi, Pleez do write your thoughts/comment under my newest poem too, titled, "jumbo jet vs jackdaws and jays". interaction via poetry is my way to say hi poets always.

[George David Hope]

Thanks for your comments I'm really glad you enjoyed reading it

[Kathleen A McCusker]

Thanks so much David!
Once you post a poem can you still keep tweaking it until you get it the way you want it?