Hansel n' Gretel: Disfunctional Ghetto Family

Two kids learn what its like to live in the ghetto and the dangers that come with it.

A skanky woodcutter n' his hoe had two lil pimps named Hansel n' Gretel. Their mutha took a dirt nap when they was lil' yo. Hansel n' Gretel was straight-up sad. Y'all KNOW dat s**t, muthafucka! Soon they daddy rehooked up but they stepmutha was straight-up wack. One day, dat dunkadelic hoe took tha lil pimps deep tha f**k into tha forest n' left dem there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Clever Hansel had some breadcrumbs up in his thugged-out lil' pocket n' had dropped dem on tha way so dat they could find they way back home fo' realz. Alas muthafucka! Da birdz ate all tha crumbs n' they couldn’t find tha path dat hustled back home.

Hansel n' Gretel went deeper n' deeper tha f**k into tha forest. They was horny n' tired. Y'all KNOW dat s**t, muthafucka! Finally, afta struttin fo' a long-a*s time, they saw a cold-a*s lil cottage made of chocolate, candies, n' cake. "Look, Hansel! A chocolate brick!" shouted

Gretel up in delight n' both ate it hungrily.

Now, a wicked witch lived there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. When her big-a*s booty saw Hansel n' Gretel, dat biiiiatch wanted ta smoke em. Right back up in yo muthafuckin a*s. Biatch grabbed tha chil­dren n' locked dem up in a cold-a*s lil cage. Da witch decided ta cook up a chronic outta Hansel n' smoke his a*s first. Right back up in yo muthafuckin a*s. Biatch f****n started boilin a big-a*s pot of gin n juice fo' tha soup. Just then, Gretel crept outta her cage. Right back up in yo muthafuckin a*s. Biatch gave tha wicked witch a mighty push from behind n' tha witch fell tha f**k tha f**k into tha boilin gin n juice n' s**t. Right back up in yo muthafuckin a*s. Biatch howled up in pain n' took a dirt nap instantly yo. Hansel n' Gretel found treasure lyin round tha cottage. They carried it home wit em. 

Their stepmutha had took a dirt nap n' they daddy wel­comed dem back wit tearz of joy. They never went horny again!