Who is this "Alex"?

(…unrevealed story…)

Hours later it was, and his ears opened before his eyes. He heard voices and some clanging and a little paper shuffling. If you’ve ever awaken after everyone else, you know how Alex felt. And the whole house acts as if they never knew what it was to “wake up” in their life. Apparently someone had thrown a sheet over his midsection. “That’s a bluer than I ever want…shadowing the guy when he…no. It depends. I…” He could hear his parents conversing as his consciousness went in and out. He almost went back to sleep, but sat up instead.

“Goodmorning sleepyhead,” his mom called from somewhere in the house. There she was, cooking, always doing something as usual. Dad’s greeting was, “Hey, nexttime when you come down, remember to put something on. There are women in the house.” Woman. Alex thought, meaning to poke at Char wherever she was, but he just said “Okay” instead.

“Dad.” Alex waited to collect his wits before he said it, but still it came out as a croak.

“Hm?”

“What’s the password for the computer?” Mr. Bolding blinked twice as if to say, “isn’t it the idea not to reveal that?” “Or can you sign me in…when I’m ready.”

“Sure.”

“It doesn’t make much sense to have a login password because I can always use my laptop anyway. Maybe you should set up a network password.”

“Ah�"“ he considered. “Good point. I’ll think about it.” Mr. Bolding didn’t know as much about computers as Alex, but he was learning.

“And by the way, good job not making it dealornodeal.” Dad smiled, then Alex did too. Alex stretched and rolled off the sofa, his little sheet inevitably falling off in the process. He went straight up, got dressed, and came back down.

Generally, breakfast was always oatmeal for the Boldings. Alex got a bowl and scooped the mixture into his bowl. Char was sitting in a barchiar at the island, gingerly adding spoonfuls of sugar to her oatmeal. She would stir it, test it, eat it for a little while, and then repeat the process. There was her stuffed kitten right by her side. As Alex sat down she said, “We’re not going to church today.” Alex only waited for an explanation, if she could string one together. “It’s my last gift. So we’re not going to church.”

“That’s why you’re in your pajamas?” Alex believed her for a moment until Mr. Bolding reassured him that no, her wish wouldn’t be granted.

“If it was your choice, we would never go to church,” Dad smirked.

“It’s just boring. Except on field days or when we do something exciting.” She put her head back in her face back down close to her bowl to nibble a little, and then asked Alex, hopefully, “is today a Super Sunday at kid’s church?”

“No, those are only on the fourth Sundays. It’s the first.”

(…unrevealed story…)

Fittingly, Pastor Henry was the first to break the silence. “Do any of you think we are walking away from our principles?” Carnegie was honestly surprised at the sincerity of this question. Some shook heads, but mostly there were no responses. “I believe that’s enough for today. But I want to allow anyone else to speak if they’d like.” Mr. Bolding turned his head toward Carnegie; it was clear he wasn’t going to speak up, so he did for him. “Pastor, I believe Carnegie has something to share, if he’d like.” No I don’t is what Carnegie was thinking at that moment, but truly he was happy that the opportunity had come up to share what had been brewing in his head all week.

Slowly he stood to his feet�"and to think on it later it seemed odd, because the discourse was normally carried out with everyone sitting in these meetings�"and, gently yet confidently, presented his plan. The atmosphere loosened, the words from his mouth made plain sense. Yes, it was a most simple and delightfully plain solution. It was when Carnegie was just finishing up that the Youth Pastor entered the room; he stood in the doorway, not wanting to interrupt. He cleared his throat, “Excuse my being late, I’m so sorry�"hello everyone. Would you mind, Pastor Carnegie, just going over real quickly what you just said. I’m so sorry�"“

“No, it’s not a problem.”

At that Pastor Henry saw it fit to open up the fridge take a slice of cake and some other snacks and others joined in. Carnegie jumped around trying to get at the important points. He had hardly finished before the Youth Pastor slapped his hand on the table and exclaimed, “Yes, that’s it!”

For you see, there was a good reason as to why the youth pastor was late. It’s never good to be late, but you can judge that yourself.

When he came in, the Youth Pastor met Alex in the halls (by the way, his name is Ben, and he’s older than you’d imagine a youth pastor to be). Alex was poring over some book that he suddenly found interesting.

“Alex,”said Ben in greeting. No matter if his foot had never touched the Young Students service door; Ben still found reason to act kindly to him. This wasn’t the first time they’d chatted either. As a conversation stirred up�"it was mostly Pastor Ben’s doing�"Ben became settled; became interested. It wasn’t what Alex said, it was only that Alex was of the age that delighted Ben. He sat down in the bench with Alex’s permission. To others it would make no sense, because he knew he had due for a certain meeting. Ben just saw this as part of his job and no meeting was either above or below it�"at the moment, this took precedence above that.

It had got to the point in the conversation where it seemed you’d been talking all your life�"it’s where your entire focus is on what you’re both talking about and nothing else. Just then they were talking about the history of chocolate and how the Mayans discovered Coca centuries ago (who knows how they got there), but then came another branch:

“It’s a wonder to me how teenagers seem to know how to enjoy life so well�"and then�"as adults…” How do I say this, he wondered, “we seem to get lost in the grind of things. You just have more fun when you’re that age!”

Alex was looking up at the rafters. They looked horrendously old compared to the walls and décor all around, for these had at least been updated once since the building’s construction, unlike the rafters.

“Adults have more work, I guess. We�"teenagers I mean�"still get stressed and stuff.”

“I don’t know. School was hard. And waking up every day at 6:30; I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore.”

Alex laughed a short laugh. “I will definitely be glad after school ends next year,” he said.

“Well, what other things do you like? I know you’re not the type to watch football.”The comment would have smarted Alex a bit, because he did watch football and in fact followed the whole season, he just didn’t have a desire to play it. But, you know, stereotypes. Gratefully, the bears, endless meadows, and lively ravines came into his head from the nature program he watched that morning, so he thought to bring it up. Alex, in all his years as admirer of the wide open world, could not understand why he really liked nature. Not just nature: how the clouds moved in the sky, forests, woods, snowy nights, the Grand Canyon, anything but home it seemed.

So naturally, he said, feeling open as he was, “I’ve always wanted to explore. Just walk out into the world and be free. I mean, I know it doesn’t make sense. I don’t want to be a guy who lives out in the Jungle with apes or anything. I don’t even know where I’d go.” Or maybe there’s no where specific I would go? He thought.

“That’s interesting. Maybe it’s not so much that you want to go to a certain place.” It was one of those delightful coincidences where someone says exactly what you were just thinking and you want to laugh and say, “I just thought that!” Alex wanted to hear what else Pastor Ben would say, for he could see more words on his lips. “You remind me,” Ben began, “of my brother. He kind of has that, where he wants to be around nature and the outdoors. He’s the type who hikes mountains (nothing like Mount Everest or anything), who likes to trail, bike, you know those activities…what was the name of that mountain he climbed…” He gave up trying to remember after a few seconds. He then finished with, “You know I think you have an ‘adventurer’s’ spirit.” No surprise to Alex, at all, for he’d heard that said before and he already knew that. But still he didn’t know how nature, how being adventurous, how it made any sense or would get him anywhere. These were not things he pondered much, but when he did, he didn’t do so casually.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Alex said.

“Okay,” and Pastor glared at him a while. All of a sudden his face lit up, “Oh, Mount Katahdin. That’s the one he climbed. Have you heard of it? It’s in the Appalachians somewhere.”

“Um no, I don’t think so.”

Alex wanted to let a few moments pass before he said what he was going to say next�"being it was sort of private in all. Char walked, half-twirled, half-skipped passed them to the bathroom in the meantime. “I’ll be seeing you in an hour or so, right?” Ben called as she passed by. So he waited until she was gone only because he wanted Ben’s full attention. Alex wanted to say it, but then he didn’t. He burned to tell someone. He felt safe enough to do it, even though it came out as a mumble with his hand almost half-way over his mouth.

“You what?” asked Ben.

Well now he was already embarrassed, so he spit it out quick, “Do you think think it’s weird to like girls that are five years younger than you…or so…because I do.”

“Well, no.”

“I like older girls too�"“ Wait…Alex was actually surprised he said no. Of course he wouldn’t say, “yes, you are a strange little boy,” but he didn’t know what to expect.

“No�"first thing you have to remember is God made you different than everyone else. No one thing can therefore be weird in and of itself.” Instantly a dozen things Alex labeled weird flashed through his mind. “And it’s perfectly normal really. You’re not the first one I’ve met who has had those desires for younger girls. Um…what would you say about it Alex? I guess I’m trying to see your viewpoint on it.”

“I mean I do like older girls, too�"”

“Don’t we all.”

“But”�"he chuckled, “but it’s weird. I just feel like I’m different from other guys.”

Ben closed his eyes and shook his head. “It’s not weird,” he reassured.

“You can’t even do anything…with them.”

“With�"the girls?”

“Because they’re so young.”

“You mean have sex?” It was Ben’s turn to spit out something quickly and he leaned forward a bit as he said it.

“Yes, no. Partly. Well that’s most of what I mean. There not really sexy at that age.” Alex appreciated that Ben didn’t whisper the word as if it was a taboo; Alex heard it every other second in school anyway, along with a lot many other words which are unfitting to record here. But then suddenly he wasn’t sure he should have said that.

“Mhm.” Ben Mused. Yep, Alex could have last the last bit out for sure. He was thinking that this was maybe an excellent time to end it. Pastor Ben said something that for the first time made him sound unsure, like he didn’t know if he wanted to say it or not: “Do you think it’s right to have sex outside of marriage.” The tone, unsure as it was, was not reprimanding at all. Only curious. These questions made thoughts bump around inside Alex’s head, as if a dealer of cards was shuffling the deck but let all the cards fly out into the air as they formed the rainbow arc. The thoughts troubled him; a change in conversation was fitting, but he didn’t even realize he ignored Ben’s question:

“I don’t really love her.”

“Her?”

Alex mouth shut, but Ben goaded him on and excused the query.

“Ugh, it’s hard to explain. I’ve loved girls before, but they are always my age. This other thing isn’t love. It’s like…I simply “like” them and want to be with them.”

“What do you think it is?”

Oh, for the love of all that is good, would he stop asking me questions! Alex didn’t know what he was getting at. But really, Alex had to be truthful with himself: he utterly enjoyed this strange venting, wherever this road was leading the two. So, once again he trudged on:

“I just don’t know what it is. I want to be with her.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s cute and I like her personality. And…”

“And?”

“She likes me, she admires me. She cares about me, what?”

Ben eyes twinkled. For the first time today, he smiled that tight cheesy grin of his, and for the first time his single dimple after which he was nicknamed DimpleBimple (you can thank his father of all people) popped into his hairy cheek. “Mhm, mhm,” he giggled, “that’s it, wouldn’t you say Alex?” Alex let the end of his mouth turn up, in spite of himself. It was a sweet confirmation to him, for he had sensed this was it. But then he had to remember, What gave me the idea she liked me… What was it again?

He felt it coming up, and oh it was here! Free as a bird, he felt he could say everything he ever concealed, even as he thought Why do I think she likes me again? Behind his words: “I want to be with her for all my life, and just laugh and be friends and hold her. It would be so good to kiss her.”

Before he knew it, Ben was up and on two feet, as if preparing to get on with his day. “That’s good, I think you’ve found something out inside there,” Ben gladly patted Alex on the back as he said it, a farewell of course, and the boy realized just then he was indeed going. “We can start on that later, Alex.” Ben’s voiced echoed down the hallway as he stepped backward, turned and left.

“Right, See ya.” He felt lighter and happier and more hopeful even though he could of as much became lonely again all in that moment and regretted he had said anything; so he was delighted. He folded up his tome and flipped it upside down, standing up and turning his head to catch that Pastor Ben was still smiling as he turned a corner. This made Alex glad, for he figured, Ben enjoyed his company.

So you see, when Ben strode through the empty halls, interrupted the meeting, heard the last bit of Carnegie’s plan, bid Carnegie to rehash his plan, and then listened intently, he found that the core of the solution connected perfectly to what was rolling around in his mind�"care. Then he was all for it. The jury was in favor of the decision, but a separate gathering was already set aside to vote ideas into place. That’s just how it worked. Mr. Bolding however, wouldn’t be attending.