Things i could never tell you pt.2

Darling, I've yet to sober. You left me and my sanity left alongside you. I'm drinking and smoking my way out of madness and I've never been able to sober from this insufferable numbness wrapped around my mind. My heart was once lively, simple, unique even. Then you came into my life so suddenly and left it so abruptly, my heart had been so corrupted, depressed, and relied heavily on getting high just to keep the horrendous thoughts at bay. You've ruined a nun, causing her to reject herself along with her will to live. If you knew how much this would hurt her, why'd you still do it? Why'd you do it again? And again... again...? Why? Who hurt you so badly, love? Why did you ruin someone elses life just to avenge your own? The last time hurt the worst... it was then that I could never truly love anyone again or believe anyone could possibly even love me.