Let me down, leave me, you don't have to go easy, for I can do this all on my own; I'll be alone, so there's no need to fear you won't want me anymore
Go ahead, it won't take long, I won't ask to come along, I will be quiet 'cause after all, I don't want to be wrong
Let me down, leave me, you don't have to go easy, for I can do this all on my own; I'll be alone, I've grown so used to not being afraid to lose anyone
Go ahead, it won't be long, we've sung our song, the terror is over and I wasn't wrong
I completely heard Billie Holiday sing this in my head, sad and soulful keys playing to the background of her voice and emanating that feeling of someone who has been through life and lived to tell the tale.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you very much! It felt like a song to me as it came out. Glad to hear you felt that too ☺
An interesting turn of the theme, I find some singularly special sharp points waiting to enthuse the reader.
The structure is good, but I will say the rhyming scheme escapes me, it seems to appear at will rather than to a plan. The emotional story twists, there is another river beneath that which we are allowed to see.
All in all a strong piece.
I have to say I found your pen name and a little dive into its possible base intrigues most pleasurable. It would be a grand discovery to find someone whom could actually leap the divide between the ancient Greek and any age of the English languages to allow the resurfacing of the beauty of her work. In that regard any return to the work of one of the nine would be a precious moment.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thanks so much for your review! I understand about the rhyming scheme. Usually, my poems have very c.. read moreThanks so much for your review! I understand about the rhyming scheme. Usually, my poems have very clear rhyming schemes. While I enjoy rhyming, sometimes I try to break out of my comfort zone in that regard. I wrote this more like a song, so the first and third stanzas are A/A/B/B/C/D and the second and third are A/B/A/C BUT the second line of the second stanza ended up rhyming so it was more A/A/A/B. So, long story short, you are right; the rhyme scheme didn't end up following a plan.
Thank you, I adore my pen name. I have researched ancient Rome (and Greece as well) since I was a child, and was adamant that I had lived in ancient Rome. I have written some light poems about, or inspired by, some ancient mythology but I am still awaiting my muse/s.