Catchy and enjoyble.
I served in the navy until not long ago (My country's navy, obviously.)
One of the best things was kicking back during the night shifts, which were long and tidious, and just..
Stargaze.
Enjoy the darkness.
The calm of the sea (When it was calm!) and bask in the nothingness of the world as it goes to sleep.
Your poem speaks of darkness both literal and abstract, both of them I adore. Not out of sadness or a need to hide, but due to it's beauty.
Your poem is a wonderful tribute to a wonderful phenomenon.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you very much ☺ I didn't recognize anything more than you have as well. I guess creative min.. read moreThank you very much ☺ I didn't recognize anything more than you have as well. I guess creative minds think alike? Ha ha
I read it as a personal fondness of the dark . and its great to read about anything that anyone is fond of . i believe this piece to be written with great articulation and feeling . Thank you
Posted 7 Years Ago
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
7 Years Ago
The dark is indeed my friend. Thank you very much. 🙄
This is a take on Frost, no? This is "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening", but instead of the woods it's the night. Whatever the reference, this is amazing! Poetically profound and solemn! Well done!
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Yes, I had to memorize Frost's Snowy Eve in fourth grade and have really thought it to be one of the.. read moreYes, I had to memorize Frost's Snowy Eve in fourth grade and have really thought it to be one of the most pleasingly crafted poems I have read. I tried to emulate it as best I could, but with a different traveller. ☺ Thank you!
Wow, this is a very nice poem. I enjoyed the smooth flow and rhymes throughout; it really made this piece sound musical. I can tell that you paid attention to the structure of the piece ... I was impressed by the consistent meter. Many rhyming poems (especially some of those I read on this site) seem to have "stumbles" in their flow, but nevertheless, you've created a piece that flows with ease ... that really helps with the readability.
Along with the skill you've portrayed, I also enjoyed the emotional aspect of this piece. The imagery was nice, especially in the first two stanzas. In the last two stanzas, the imagery isn't as vivid, but that doesn't hinder the poem at all; instead, it helps to add an underlying melancholy (and perhaps ambiguity) which compliments the overall tone. The last two lines top everything off because they add both depth and philosophical significance to the poem ... the effect it created reminded me of the poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost where he repeats a line in the end.
Thanks for sharing this piece. I enjoyed.
- William Liston
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you very much for your kind review. I definitely can't compare myself to Robert Frost but I re.. read moreThank you very much for your kind review. I definitely can't compare myself to Robert Frost but I remember having to memorize and recite "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" in fourth grade, and I found it very comforting and never forgot it. Thank you for realizing my inspiration 😊 You are too kind.
One thing I've taken notice of is this: Those who sew seeds with any form of art tend to be chronic night-dwellers. For that reason above all, this poem resonated with me. :)
Quite the strong conclusion here, repeating the two closing lines gave off a certain ethereal effect to me, hammering home the fact that, indeed, without light, there is no such dark.
~This was a pleasant surprise. You wrote this very well.
Friendly critique. You're missing three commas. But I will not split hairs.
Great writing.~
100/100
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you very much! It was a pleasant surprise for me as well; I enjoy the pieces I actually like t.. read moreThank you very much! It was a pleasant surprise for me as well; I enjoy the pieces I actually like that come between my word vomits. Thank you for the critique about the missing commas. I will have to get those in there ☺