Abyss

At the edge of my abyss
you turn around for one more kiss,
scrambling as you fall and I -
I've gone and left you high and dry
but when it's time to reminisce,
I'll take the blame for all of this

Reviews

[A. T. Collins]

Short and to the point. I like the way the poem implies the setting of boundaries in the transition from lines 2-3 and lines 3-4. The word economy in this poem is excellent.

[Gaia Octavia]

Thank you very much ☺

[Maddi]

I think this poem is really powerful, even though it is in few words. I had an english teacher who passed away a few years ago and he said that "Its not the amount of words you write by, its the few words you choose to live by." and I think this poem sums up his catchphrase.

[Gaia Octavia]

Thank you very much (genuinely) ☺

[Maddi]

No problem. :)

[Roe]

I really enjoyed this write. With such few words you were able to pull me into this piece.

[Joel]

Strong rhyme and meter. Did you intend the irony of say the person fell but was also left high and dry?

[Gaia Octavia]

Not originally, but I did notice it once I put it to paper and I kind of liked it ☺ Thanks for your kind words and attentive reading!

[Death's Poet]

Short but gorgeous.
I really liked this. I love how you pull readers in with intricate words, but the message is so simple but beautifully woven. It is one of life's worst dealt hands to blame yourself for something you know in your mind you could have not helped, but your heart holds you to blame. I am going through this struggle as I write this so this poem hit me straight in the chest. Beautiful. Simple. Exactly what I needed to read today, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that consensus. Well done.

[Gaia Octavia]

Thank you very much! I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time. I hope this helped in some small way. Time will be your best friend, it almost always helps you realize how better off you are ☺

[LastMonth]

Shooooooort.
Booooo.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
This is nice Gaia. I like it. I'm a fan of the word Abyss, I'm not sure why.
If there's something I've learned in my short week or so here is that the Title of a Writing matters significantly more then I imagined. This one is just impossible to ignore.

It is well written and thoughtful, somewhat sad but not in a desperate fashion.
The POV character is well aware of what's coming, and I believe he'll accept it while standing tall.

Thanks for the poem friend.

[Gaia Octavia]

Thank you, friend ☺ I have a penchant for short poems. I like the challenge of saying the most with the least possible amount of words. I actually wrote a lot more for this but the rest just reinforced this one stanza so begone, needless words! ☺ The title definitely matters when it comes to getting people to click on your work. I rarely use a word that's in the poem but in this case, I thought Abyss would do quite well. Once again, thanks for your time and for your encouragement!