Buried Feet.

There's not a single atom in my body that isn't yours, 

you that got buried before I was conceived,

you that existed when I was just electrons in your neurons.

Yes,

When I was just a passing thought in your mind. 

The bones of your feet now walk the earth through my feet 

for how long, I'll never know. 

The only thing certain is the end and none know not whence it comes.

Outside of fear lies the gift of life.

The subtleties that make life more pleasant feel like melodies from a flute. 

Witness!

witness the poetry in trees

the grit in mountains 

the evidence of things unseen.

You and I. 

We had our inception from A Single Essence. 

All that breathes is rightfully yours and In YOU! 

 So, 

when your mansions touch the moon

let the bones of my feet walk through yours and don't differentiate between all that breathes. 

 After all, 

 we're all a community of air.

Reviews

[JayG]

• There's not a single atom in my body that isn't yours

Why thank you. That's very kind of you...except, who are you, and why are you writing to me in this way?

My point: This is deeply meaningful to you, but meaningless to the reader. To them, someone they know nothing about is talking to someone unknown, for unknown reasons.

The thing you need to remember is that no one cares how you feel unless you give them reason to. And when writing poetry, our goal isn't to inform, but to move the reader, emotionally, as a form of entertainment.

We don't, for example, tel the reader that we cried. Instead, we give them reason to weep. So a poem that's you talking about things meaningful to you...

There's a lot that's not obvious to writing poetry. It has been under development and refinement for centuries, after all. So taking advantage of that, and digging into the skills the pros take for granted makes a lot of sense.

That's why I suggest Mary Oliver's Poetry Handbook. It's a fun read, and filled with little tidbits, like the reason that no one shouts "Oh feces!," when they're angry, and sometimes use the word "rock" but others, "stone," for the same thing.

You can download a readable copy (except on a phone) here: https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

Though, you'll probably want a good copy of your own in the end.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[SELF]

Hello Jay,
Thank you for your feedback, and you asked why I'm writing to you in that way. I'll answer that From the words of the revered Allen Ginsberg and I quote; I'm writing to you in that way because
"It means abandoning being a poet, abandoning your careerism, abandoning even the idea of writing any poetry, really abandoning, giving up as hopeless... abandoning the possibility of really expressing yourself to the nations of the world. Abandoning the idea of being a prophet with honor and dignity, and abandoning the glory of poetry and just settling down in the muck of your own mind. You really have to make a resolution to write for yourself, in the sense of not writing to impress yourself, but just writing what your self is saying".

Once again, thank you for taking your time to read through what my-self is saying.