Broken Friendship

Many friendships end this way. And theirs is no acceptation.

Nicolas ran a hand through his hair, worried what his friend would think, he wished he could say he didn't care, but he did, and now that he's getting close to leaving for college, he wanted this loose end to be tied, weather Matthew doesn't mind or he does. "Okay, this is it," Nicolas muttered staring at himself in the reflection of the mirror, a small smile on his face that soon escalated to a frown as he found himself second guessing. "Maybe I can . . . act for him . . ." he looked down but realized as he remembered why he wanted to tell him, because he found him cute. He wasn't just another man who he wanted to do a fling with, he was who he wanted to wake up next to in the morning.

The voice who would calm him in his moments of need. He wanted Matthew to be his. But, Nicolas wasn't sure if he was like that, was he? The worst he could do was say no, and in the back of Nicolas's mind he knew that would be his response. He shook his head, Matthew is waiting for him, like a good friend, and like a good friend, he shouldn't keep him waiting. He walked out, glancing to Matthew who sat down, his hair was a dyed blue and his clothes were a simple tank top and jeans, he was never a formal man. That was something Nicolas liked about him.

Matthew saw him and smiled faintly. They were sharing a house together, it beat living on the streets. That was another troublesome thought that crept into Nicolas's mind, what if he didn't accept his ways? It would be one thing to turn down love, but to tear down a friendship, that would just be criminal. "Matthew, we need to talk," Nicolas said weakly, his knees had soon become weak and had to sit down. Matthew focused on Nicolas, not letting his ears wander.

"What is it, Nick?" Matthew asked, a mixed voice of concern and curiosity. "Is something wrong?"

Nicolas couldn't look up, he kept his head down and bit his bottom lip, soon screaming. "I'm gay!" Matthew, with a blank look stared at him, not speaking. Nicolas placed a hand on Matthew's leg and looked at him.

Nicolas had his hand on Matthew's leg, a smile on his face, but soon the smile faded as soon Matthew shoved him to the ground. "I don't want to see you again." Matthew hissed angrily, Nicolas crossed his arms and huffed.

"But . . . we're friends!" said Nicolas, but Matthew heard none of it, he just pushed him towards his breaking point. After a few years of hiding, Nicolas thought he'd be safe to tell Matthew his secret, but as it appears he was not.

Matthew shook his head. "Not anymore," he said with an angry look of both disgust and anger of a friend being something he wished he wouldn't have to deal with. "Not anymore."

He felt his heart break, Nicolas knew Matthew wasn't like him, or he thought, he had yet to actually see any indication he was straight, through the years he's known Matthew he had not ever dated a girl, he spends too much time with his friends who are all male, never even asked a girl or ever spoken a word of any crush he's had. "Bu-But . . ." Nicolas was lost for words as Matthew shook his head in disappointment hissing at him angrily. "We were friends."

"Go away, Nicolas. Just go," It stung, the only time Matthew used Nicolas's full name was written out on paper, or when he's mad. "I can't see you right now." Matthew looked away, walking to his room. Tossing articles of clothing belonging to Nicolas then a suitcase. "Take what's yours and leave."

Nicolas felt a teardrop make its way down his cheek and onto the ground, he was pushed aside, criticized for who he is. For telling his friend what he is. Nicolas bided by Matthew's wishes and took his possessions and left walking out angrily, not watching where he was going, a car almost hit him, his hand pressed against the hood and he yelled. Walking away, Nicolas bowed his head down, not sure how he can live his life without Matthew as at least a friend. But he'll try.