Balancing

"Jenna, you've outdone yourself. You lied to Jasen, your closest relative, your damn brother, and you lied to Tony. Liar, liar, liar." said the fixture reaching out from the wall. It was a dry and flaky being stuck to brown walls on the inside of the cave. I stared at it with my hands clenched in melting fists. "I didn't mean to, ok! I have to!" I snapped back, glaring, because I couldn't move my feet. I'd mess up that thing's face if I could. It was looking at me balefully, the hazel eyes just boring a hole into my face. Finally, when the features gained all formation, I gasped and woke up.

"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine, I keep my eyes wide opened all the time. I keep the ends out for the tide that binds, because you're mine, I walk the line." Jasen sang, rubbing the hair away from my face. But it was too deep, to low, too soft...Jasen couldn't sing like that. "Daddy." I said, smiling wider than the Grand Canyon. He smelled clean, as if a shower had worked away the sweat and time away. I sat up quickly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders for a tight hold. "I find it very, very easy to be true, I find myself alone when each day's through! Yes I'll admit that I'm a fool for you...because you're mine--I walk the line!" I sang back, his long arms enveloping me.

"Hi sweetheart. Jay told me about your accident, do you need ice? Tylenol?" I shook my head in response. All I needed was my dad. "I missed you." I choked out, hoping I didn't sound too teary. His curly hair tickled the end of his ears with his bright blue eyes sticking out of his face, just like mine. Jasen looked more like Mom, but I can't really remember. "Missed you too." he sighed when I pushed my sore head into his neck. I began talking a million miles per hour, telling him about my classes, Tony, Casey, my first day. Dad had to slow me down a few times, just pushing my hair back occasionally.

"Dad, I have a new teacher. Mr. Carver. He's standing in for the old science, teacher, and he's so nice! At lunch he and I just talked, it was so nice--" I paused, trying to make the end sound natural. I was just trying to keep calm, since I was excited about going to school, but would Dad let me? He may want to take me to the doctors to be sure I wasn't hurt too bad. Dad must have been exhausted because he didn't press the issue but let me sleep, heading off to his own shower. But I couldn't sleep, I had class in only a couple hours.

With haste, I had brushed my hair, fixed my face, picked out an outfit and I still had time to text Casey. This morning, however, she wasn't so talkative. Maybe she was ill--either way she wouldn't yield to my questions til altogether she stopped. Then I suddenly got a strange number pinging my phone, with an even more obscure text message. It was like a scene from a horror movie. Jenna Elms? it asked flat, so I could see. Just a question of who I was. When I had relayed the fact I was indeed Jenna, a second almost immediate message demanded from me answers to questions I was wary off. Are you alright? Casey is nervous for you. What happened? Don't lie. It was sort of scary. I decided if someone knew Casey they knew me too, and I'd seek them out at school. Without another word I left for school with fifteen minutes to spare on my usual time, but I still had to talk to Casey.

As ritual had me perform, I normally walked with Tony to school, but since I was in a worse mood about him than my number being given to a stranger there would be no way I'd walk with him. I touched the side of my face gingerly, remembering...Grr! Stop it Jenna! I said to myself, throwing my hand down to my sides. It hurt so much--not just my head, but more my heart. I thought this was coming to a close. Tony hadn't been mean in a few months! And suddenly he snapped. But it wasn't like I could escape his wrath, he lived about two blocks away, on top of how I had nobody outside Modesto.I was in a cage.

I made it to school early, and while waiting for Casey, I decided to stand by first period. In the quiet morning with not one person to be seen, I suddenly pulled out my phone. The number was still on my phone. *69-ing it back, so my own was blocked. I stood there rigid like a statue until my shoulders ached with tenseness. Phone dialing, it connected back, making the signature ring on my end.

Ring, ring, ring. Oh my God, there it was! I could hear it. I whipped around, my dark brown hair flying in great fans when I spun. In my chest, my heart raced til I got so dizzy I had to close my eyes for a few exceedingly excruciating moments when I couldn't see. Ring, ring, ring...It came around the corner. My body chilled under the thin sheet of swear I wore, staring at the distance, almost scared. With a quick motion, I shut my phone with a snap so it would stop the call. Mr. Carver put his phone back into his pants pocket, waving when he just now noticed me. I smiled weakly back like I was sick.

"Good morning Jenna. How are you?" he asked, pushing his hair back quickly. I just nodded as I cleared my throat. "Fine. You?" I threw back a little stiffly, following him in the classroom of dark and cold steel tables. Mr. Carver sighed, flipping on the lights almost bored seeming, turning back to me with a frown. This was not just a teacher-like frown, Mr. Carver seemed like he was very angry and I had just insulted him. "I'd be better if you told me who did that to your face. That makeup isn't right, less pale." he said. I was frozen with my mouth agape. I had spent too much time working on concealing this morning for anybody to see it as clearly or at such a distance. "I-I fell, yesterday, when I got home." I churned out, but for the first time in the nine months Tony and I had dated, it was hard for me to lie. Not just hard. I was so sick of myself for lying to Vincent Carver.

He laughed coldly, like he knew I was deceiving him, or at least trying. "Jenna, that is frank and downright mean you'd actually lie to my face. I really dislike liars." Mr. Carver paused like it hurt, his face crinkling up. "I dislike people who hit nice young women more. What happened?" I was still frozen under his demanding glare, the gold-green irises looking almost blind to anything I had to say...except for the truth. But Tony had friends! People who'd make sure I wouldn't say anything! And I already knew he was violent when I began a relationship with him, it was just a risk. What could I say?

"I-I'm, uh, well it's embarrassing...I'm a m-masochist, you see, I just can't seem to stop--" Mr. Carver's long hand slammed down on the table in front of me.