Dear You Piece of S**t (part 2)

A Poem by Gabby Nieves

How have you been?

If only you could see me now,

I'm happy, you know

and you were wrong,

keeping quiet never made it any better

It was never "okay"

when you'd tell me to sit still

and shut off my mind

Those rough hands wrapped around my waist,

pulling me in,

drawing me downtown

-Stop-

I'm breathing heavy now

-please-

I'm losing feeling now

-I'm sorry-

I won't fall asleep again, I'll be good for you

-No-

I'm far away now

and I don't see myself the way I used to.

Alone in my bed,

I've slowly learned

the only thing worse than feeling that pain,

was feeling nothing at all.

It's all come together though,

the long nights spent with him

picking flowers off the side of some unknown rode,

our hands rushing through the midnight air

make me whole again,

I am me again

I know you're still out there,

but I can't feel your breath anymore

I live in a body worth loving

and I stopped swallowing pills every morning.

The days turn to night over and over,

and the only thing on my mind is the future,

filled with words all my own.

The only thing I see in the mirror now

is my reflection.

No, I won't forget,

and I still can't change what has been

But it's not too late,

and I did not die back in 2008.

© 2016 Gabby Nieves

Author's Note

For those of you that have been around since I started writing on this site, this is my perspective from my current life (2 years after writing the first part). I just want you all to know, no matter what has happened and whatever frame of mind you're currently in, it's not too late for things to get better and you'll meet people who make you feel endless, or you'll fall in love with a place or a book or a hobby. Whatever it might be, find something worth living for, because nobody or no situation is worthy of making you feel less of yourself. And life is such a beautiful thing. So for those of you still reading, keep your head up! Love you <3