Close my eyes

I close my eyes. I think about us. What we were. how we could never be like that again. because i wasted my chances. I did the wrong things. You said the right things. I cant trust myself again and i know you cant either. I know that if i close my eyes that nothing will change but i still try. try to make it alright. To make the pain go away. To think if i had that second chance. What would i do different? Everything. I always say that but i don't know if i mean it. I want to mean it. I know you would never let me back in after i did that. I didn't mean it. All i can do is close my eyes and hope everything will get better with us. Close my eyes and hope.