Chapter two

        Ever since the accident , I've woken up screaming everynight. 36 days of constant nightmares and no sleep. And every night I stay awake wide eyed, hoping it's over. But it's not. He's going to be with me forever and that day is going to haunt me forever.  

      "Gwendyln! Get your a*s in here!" He screamed. His deep voice shook with anger.  

         I was sitting on my bed, engrossed in a novel, when I heard him. He barely ever used my real name. He usually only calls me b***h. I hesitated about going down there. He only talks to me when I did something 'wrong'.  

       I closed the book and slowly made my way downstairs. I see him standing at the bottom of the stairs, with fury written all over his face. His big black eyebrows are pulled together , the wrinkles on his forehead creasing with anger. Not to mention his fists were clenched by his sides.  

                  This is not gonna be good, I thought. I stepped off the last step and hung my head. It's better to pretend you're guilty, than to regret it in the end. Which I never did. I was never guilty but I acted as though I was.  

             I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. He raised his large hand and slapped my across my face. I saw it coming. I hit the wall with a thud and pain exploded in my face and wrist.  

            "Guess what?" He whispered. His deadly voice, went well with his expression. He walked over to my crumpled body. His hand entangled in my long black hair and ripped up. I whimpered in pain, while I was dangling a few inches off the floor.  

            "I SAID GUESS WHAT?!" He screamed, his voice booming. He shook his arm around , testing his large muscles. The pain in my head was unbearable.  

           "What?" I gasped with my shaky voice. He let go of my hair and I fell onto my wrist again. Tears came streaming down my face in pain.  

         "You made your mom cry again." He slapped my face again and again until I was almost unconsious. It wouldn't be the first time I ever got knocked out. Probably not the last either.  

          "NOW GO UPSTAIRS!" He screamed. I crawled up the stairs as fast as I could. The house was huge, even my room. Even though my parenta hate me, I still get everything I want. Which wasn't much. But I have to suffer though him. I don't even feel comfortable calling him Dad. But, my mom isn't that much better. She's in rehab for drinking and she hates me too. She's still stupid for marrying a guy like him, much less having a kid with him.  

         I made my way to the bathroom, to see how much damage there was. I stood up and looked into the mirror. My long black hair was tangled and a mess, the bruises on my face were getting worse and worse as the time passed, and my blue eyes were rimmed with red from crying. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought half of my hair was ripped out... At least thats what it felt like. The worse part was , Mom probably wasn't even crying, he just wanted to hit me. He's done it before.

         I looked over to examine my wrist. It was swollen and red and bruised, and it hurt like a mother trucker. My face doesn't hurt that bad. I was so used to getting hit there, I guess it's just used to it. But my wrist was a different story.     

             It feels like it's either sprained or broken, but I will never know because everybody here is too much of an a*****e to care.  

          I went back to my room, in desperate need of sleep. It wasn't a far walk, since the bathroom was right across the hall.  

           I collasped on my queen sized bed, not even bothering to cry. All that was in my room, was my bed, my black 5 drawer dresser, my flat screen televison, and posters and drawings all over my black and green walls. I had this all before the accident, I try not to ask for anything now. That's all I really need. I stay up here most of the time, anyway.  

             Laying there, curled up in my bed, I can't help to wonder what I ever did to him that made him want to hurt me. I used to be a Daddy's girl. He used to love me and never hurt me. But that's all changed now. He used to fight with Mom about who get's to take me out to lunch. Now they fight about who want's to hit me. I got a break though, because Moms at rehab. But He would always win because he would hit her, too. I can't believe it's all changed in 36 days. The reason they hate me now, is because they think I killed Paul. Their not wrong, I did kill him. If i didn't throw that bear into the road he would still be alive. Time's like this is when I think I deserve getting beaten.

                I looked across my bed and saw the bear. His blue color has faded more and there's stains from where Paul's blood was. I took a hold of him and gripped him tighter not ever wanting to let go. I snuggled in closer and heard something. I loosened my grip and stared at the bear in shock. This can't be happening.

                "Hey baby! April Fools! I don't think I could ever live without you. In a couple of years, I'll be standing there, watching you walk down the aisle, looking beautiful. I mean, you're always beautiful...but you know what I mean.

             I"m sorry about the joke, if I didn't get a chance to explain. I probably didn't, you tossed me out on the streets didn't you?" He had no idea."But in my defense, you should have seen it coming. I always prank you on your birthday. But it's okay, you still love me in the end."

              I smiled through my tears as he continued. "I just wanted a chance to tell you that I love you so much. You mean the world to me. After 2 amazing years, it just keeps on getting better and better, which I thought wasn't possible. But you proved me wrong.

            So Happy Birthday, my love. Hope you have an amazing 17th...Well of course you will, I'll be there. I love you so much, Gwen."

               I clutched the bear tighter than ever before, soaking my face with tears. I proccessed his words as I played it over and over.

              It was all a joke. It was all just a harmless joke. How could I be this stupid?

                 He never stopped loving me. He still loves me.

              * * *

              "Hey B***h! Schools not in your room!", He yelled from downstairs.

          I guess he is back to normal, I thought. I gathered my orange back and checked myself in the my mirror. Black skinny jeans, dark green long sleeved top, and my checkerboard vans. My hair was hanging loosley and there was no makeup on my bruised face. Good enough...

        I was just about to go downstairs when he yelled, "Hurry up! You don't want to end up like your brother, do you?" That got my attention. I was practically flying down the stairs, which still wasn't fast enough.

         I raced through the big house and out the door. By the time I saw the yellow Camero, I was trying to catch my breath and panting like crazy. The car was sitting in the gravel driveway with the bright red Jeep.

        "I'm 17 and I still don't know how to drive, " I mumbled to myself. My jaw still hurt from the beating , but it was bearable now. So I could talk, unfortunitly.

          I decided to get in the back seat of the Camero. I didn't really want to sit in the passenger side, where he could reach me easily. At least, I could squirm away. Or maybe, jump out of the car. I smiled to myself, as I plopped down on the seat. My smile was slowly taken away, when I saw him come outside. I tensed up and kept my head down.

              "Why are you sitting back there?" He spat, his cold voice made me shiver. I didn't say anything, even though I probably should have. It's always worse if I don't talk.

            "Ahem?" He cleared his throat.

          I might as well say something, I thought. " I can't bend my leg. I have to put it up on the seat." I lied, wanting him to feel bad. But of course he didn't. He doesn't care about me anymore. It was most likely all an act from the beginning...I sighed.

           He turned around in his seat and sent me a mean smirk. I should have never said anything. It always comes back to bite me in the a*s. Always.

          He took his finger and poked my knee. He kept poking it, trying to get a reaction.

           "Does this hurt? How 'bout now?" He repeated, amusement dancing in his eyes, while still poking my knee. I just glared at him. I couldn't do anything else. I'd just sit here and suck it up, until he gets bored.

          He stopped for a moment and started tickiling my leg. I bit my lip to keep from laughing and crying at the same time. It reminded me so much of how he used to be. Laughing, smiling, hugging me. How could it all fall apart that quick? I pushed the thought in the back of my head, not wanting to break down in front of him.

            When I didn't budge, he stopped and looked me in the eyes. I swear I saw a flash of regret and guilt cover his brown eyes. But it was gone once I blinked. He turned back around and I went back to staring out the window.

                                      * * *

                 We pulled up at the school, and I bolted out of the car.

              "WAIT!" He yelled, causing attention from near-by kids. I stopped in my tracks, waiting for his words. " Don't get in any fights today. If you do, prepare yourself for one when you get home." His harsh words cut throught me like a knife. He has never threatened to fight me before. Everytime he hits me, I just back down and let him do the damage. It wouldn't even be considered a fight, I thought sadly. What's even worse is that he called his house a home. A home is somewhere you feel safe in. I feel safer on the streets, I thought.

           "Excuse me?" He growled. "That damn house is your home." His eyes were firing with fire and anger.

              I said that outloud? Crap, I thought to myself. I'll definitly have it coming when I get 'home'.

          Instead of facing him like I should have, I just kept on walking. I heard him mumble a few incoherent words, but I just tuned him out.

                                        * * *

              " Bad day?" My best friend Chloe came up to me. Her blond hair bouncing with every step she takes.

              "Is it that obvious?" I laughed. We always got along so well. Which is surprising, because we're so different from each other, we were bound to be best friends or enemies. I guess it was the latter.

           She had the perfect blond curls, emerald green eyes, and really tan skin. While I had thick black hair, bright blue eyes, and I was about as pale as a glass of milk.

           Our personalities were totally different, too. Chloe was a prep, a cheerleader, and was currently dating the quarterback of the schools football team. And then there was me. The nobody. I was quiet and was never surrounded by groups of people, unlike Chloe. I didn't mind though. I'd rather be invisible than in th center of everybody's attention.

            "Hello?" She said, dramitically, waving her hand in my face. " Earth to Gwen?"

           I snapped out of it, focusing on my attention back to her. "Sorry, my bad," I chuckled. "What were you saying?"

          She shook her head and slapped the back of my head , playfully. It wasn't hard, but it was too close to home.

            "Don't hit me!" I snapped . I turned back around in my seat, focusing on the history lesson. I didn't hear anything from her for the rest of the period. Which probably wasn't a good sign. She didn't know about my dad hitting me and hurting me. And if everything goes well, she won't know. I'll just suck it up and wait till' I'm 18, then I'll be outta there. Just a little less than a year.

              Finally, the bell rung and I slowly got up. I'm usually the last one out, so I'm not surroned by jocks pushing each other out of the way to get through the door.

            "Gwen..." I turned around to face her pale stricken face. "I'm really sorry..." Her perky voice, mumbled.

               I cracked a smile and flicked my hand, "Dude, it's fine. I over reacted." No, I didn't.

           Relief washed over her face in an instant. She looped her arm through mine, and I knew we were back to normal.

             "Gwendyln, you have to stop using the phrase 'dude'." Definitly back to normal, I thought. "You are a girl. Unless there's something you're not telling me about..." She stopped in the middle of the hallway, looking at me with questioning eyes.

             I laughed and dragged her to English class. "Let's go, Dork." She joined in with laughter.

             "I am not a whales penis!" She laughed. My eyes widened and looked at her. A few guys in the hallway caught on and started laughing too.

           "Yes, Gwen. A dork technically mean's a whales penis." She said, gasping for air from laughing so hard.

            I shook my head, grinning sheeplishly. We reached English class and walked in recovering from our outburst of laughter.

           The whole class stared at us in confusion. Automatically, I sunk down in my chair, not enjoying the extra attention.

           Well now that I know what a dork is, I'm gonna stop calling people that. Haha, I thought to myself, probably not....

Author's Note

Chapter two! Hope y'all like it! Review and stuff please! :) Thanks guys!