When giving up is the only way Part 3

This is the following part to part1 and 2 of my series of stories called: When giving up is the only way

I didn't really understand what was going on with Anne. I just knew that I felt strangely deep connected to her. I felt an admiration for her that I couldn't understand or explain. I longed for the chance to talk to her. I knew we can work through anything with honesty. At least that's what I thought. 

Then a lady, Redy Crownforrest, from far away planned to come to visit Anne. Anne first told me first, that she is not really sure how to handle it, because this lady betrayed her once. She should have listened to her feelings. But with time I saw that Anne got more and more excited about that visit. I was very proud of Anne as she portrait a picture of forgiveness in that moment. I was sure she has a beautiful, honest, forgiving heart. And so whatever was between us, we will be able to work through. But anyways, I was happy for her to have someone come to visit. 

And then she was here. I was very curious if this lady is a real friend to Anne after all the people, I met before.  When I met her, we straight away could talk and I thought her being very nice. She noticed what Anne means to me. Then one day she started telling me how terrible Anne's husband and kid treat her, with no respect. And that Anne is so alone, just me and my family helping and caring. I felt relieved and somehow assured that I saw things the right way, I didn't just imagine. But when I came home I became more and more upset. Why is she telling me this. She is Anne's friend and she doesn't know me. And that are very private details. 

I'm a very loyal friend and even when one of Anne's friend pressured me to tell her, what's going on, I wouldn't say a word. If you want to know, ask yourself. So next time, Levi came with me, Redy started telling us again and i told her, to tell Anne, so that she can change whatever is her fault in the situation. Or both can find a solution. But she said, that she knows her for years and when she would say anything, Anne would kick her out. I knew the kicking out part was true. Still, what a friend, poor Anne. Redy promised to write me a letter about all the stuff that happened to Anne in her childhood and young adult years. I told her that Anne told me already. Redy said that Anne was always very hard hearted in treating others in a hurtful way but she wouldn't really mean it that way. I understood, what she was trying to say. I saw Anne's heart shining through in the art she created and sometimes her eyes said more then 1000 words. But again it shocked me. Didn't this lady see that Anne and I had problems. Anne couldn't look me straight in the eye and avoided contact. Wouldn't a true friend notice that? But on the other hand, I had this hope that Redy could change something between Anne and I, and again I kept quiet. I also stayed in contact with her after she went home again. She had to struggled with depression over the next year-no wonder. Why don't people get, that when they lie and suppress feelings that it will get back at them. I didn't want to tell Anne, I wanted Redy to get talk to her and have a real chance for an honest friendship. Anne would need that so much. How can a friendship not based on loyalty and respect survive anyway. I even got the feeling that Redy influenced Anne not to talk it out with me as her little 'behindthebacktalk" would come to the light as well.

Anyway I just loved being at Anne's taking care of the lamas, spending time and learning to know them. That was a dream come true. And I was still close, somehow. I noticed that one of her lamas seemed to get skinnier and skinnier. He is a beautiful lama, very gentle. I loved him a lot as he was easy to handle and took my fear away. He just needed time to trust people. I was wondering if he mirrows Anne. I was told that our animals show our hidden secrets. Anne got some grain recommended by her trainer. Anne and I used the same trainer for the lamas. I liked the trainer and her training methods. The grain seemed not to make any difference though. When the vet came over to check my lamas, she told us that one of my lamas was very skinny too and that she needs extra grain. She recommended another brand and it showed results very quickly. So one day in town, i asked the trainer without asking Anne first, if it wouldn't be a good idea to give some of my grain to Anne's lama, as it showed quick results. I also had bought the big bag already and was happy to share. She said that Anne doesn't care much anyway and doesn't know much about lamas anyway, and Anne should keep using hers. I was a bit taken by surprise. Levi was there and said he is wondering if she gains something from it, was the grain sold by her to Anne or did she know the people who sell it to Anne and gets commission? But we didn't make to much out of it, as I knew this lady had family problems and probably just needed to went her anger on someone else.

Not much later I received an angry phone call from Anne accusing me of talking bad about her.  And that I can take my stuff and leave when I don't like how she handles her animals. I was completely taken by surprise but Anne was not even considering that it wasn't true what someone else told her, she was sure I would do that. There was no reasoning. It hurt me so much, as I shared my heart with her and thought she is the one who should know me best. Also my fear of her abusing my dependency became real. My friend said yes. Levi was so very disappointed how Anne, could assume something like that. He even told her when we lead our lamas passed her. I felt for a split second that she realized what she just had done. But she is to proud to admit a mistake. The hurt and bitterness about people hurting her, her whole life, couldn't let her see, that there are people who would love her no matter what. I rang Levi and he said he got enough of that drama and  ask me to ring my friend and ask if we still can bring the lamas to her place. 

The whole situation made me furious. I tried to find out who could have said that and who would gain from it. There where two people I talked to about Anne and lamas at all. I asked one of them, I remembered talking to her about handling lamas at Anne's place. She was telling me about riding them and told me that she hates that. Anne took her once and she didn't like it at all. So I asked her if I had said anything bad about Anne then. In case she misunderstood - sometimes we say something and it gets received differently. She said no, not at all and that we just talked about her terrible ride. So the other one was the trainer and our conversation about the food. But why would she lie? Levi said that this trainer must be quite dumm to make up stories like that as she looses business, when she messes up Anne's and my relationship as we still took lessons together. So I wasn't sure at all. And there was one other person, I didn't talk to her, but she deeply hates Anne and is connected to the family. I don't want to get into it. But she would make up stories just to look good and hurt Anne in any way possible. I would have done anything to be able to talk to Anne about it but there was no way. She blocked every effort I made. I felt physically in pain not being able to resolve that issue. I was helpless. But I decided not to become hateful and bitter towards Anne but to love her no matter what. One day it will proof to her that I am honest and want the best for her...