When giving up is the only way Part 2

This is the following part to part1 of my series of stories called: When giving up is the only way

When giving up is the only way Part 2

Then one day a lady, one of Anne's close friends, rang me and told me to stay away from Anne, she is a 'drama queen' and will hurt you, is what she said. I didn't listen. I didn't want to hear that. 

Anne and I met more often and enjoyed spending time together. 

I remember inviting her over one day. It always felt as she is uncomfortable when out of her own 4 walls. We had a talk about our childhood and life and found out that we had even more in common. I was thrilled to have found someone, who was able to understand me and my abusive past.

I couldn't believe my luck. I felt like I found someone I was looking for all my life. 

Levi liked her too, which isn't happening often, he usually warns me to stay away from certain people. 

One day she picked me up to go somewhere and Levi started laughing and wispered "she looks like a russian gynecologist'. I had to smile. I loved her style. I actually loved everything about her.

We spent a lot of time together. I didn't even look for more friends because I thought i found someone like a soul mate. 

I read my bible, like always daily and got warned not to go to often to her place. "Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you." And again I didn't want to listen. I noticed that we liked the same things, like art, music and lamas. It seemed so perfect. I also didn't have to fear that she would take advantage of me as her husband and my husband worked together. With time I noticed more and more that Anne was often sad but covered everything with a big smile. I tried hard to look away but I hated seeing her that way. I wanted to find out what was going on. And proud as I was, I thought i could even help her. But when I asked her she would deny it. One day I took her aside. I wanted her to know that I love her deeply and that I will be there for her no matter what, that she is no longer alone. She looked at me with a questioning glance, almost insecure but then contained herself again and answered 'I will do the same for you'. 

One night I had this dream about her that something terrible had happened. In the morning I rang Levi at work, he was on nightshift, and told him that I have to go and see her right away. He said okay and hang up. 5 minutes later, he rang me again and told me, that he just spoke to her husband and that her husband is worried too. He told Levi why. I paniced. I was already almost at her house and asked Levi, what to do in case she doesn't open the door. Maybe she is not able to open the door? He said, get in there, no matter what. I couldn't hold my tears back as I was scarred to come to late. And of course, she didn't open. I imagined her lying on the floor and whatever else. So I went through her garage and found her in the kitchen, standing there like this little pile of sadness. I just wanted to hug her and tell her that everything will be alright. I was sooo happy that she was sort of okay. Anne was more then shocked about me coming in and i think it really scarred her. But could I tell her that I knew from her husband what was going on, when she tries to cover every little secret? Wouldn't it hurt her and make her feel even more alone? I remained silent. I stayed until I felt she would be alright, prayed with her and left. 

I started praying more intensely for her and her family and against whatever it is that made her so sad. Things changed after that more and more. She started to avoid being alone with me. She made hurtful comments in front of the one lady, who would come to visit her too. 

I was very selfish and alone at that time. So I kept visiting her anyway. I should have listen to the small signs and give some room. That is something I regret deeply. Anne never said anything but I felt that something was wrong. When I asked her, she would just say that I'm imagining stuff. 

Anne decided one day to get another lama as a companion for hers. I was excited as she ask me to come with her. I was wondering why of all people, she would want to take me. My hopes went up and I thought maybe now is the time to talk things out and address some of the deeper issues. But I also wanted to learn about how to buy lamas. One day I wanted to own them myself. I was looking forward to spending time with her, alone.

It took us around 8 hours as we missed the right road but that was okay with me. Even when I couldn't get her much to say. 

In the end she chose 3 lamas. I didn't get why. She had already trouble to find time for 1 or 2. So why would she buy 3 more? She asked me if i like them and i did. And then I thought, maybe I could help her taking care of them.

We arrived back home and I remember her son welcoming us and asking why she brought two lamas home. As the third one didn't fit into her trailer. She asked him very annoyed 'how many people do you see here?' and he said 'ah okay'. I was wondering what she meant and thought she is probably just scarred of her husband, buying more then he agreed on. So I didn't say anything.

Some days later we, Levi and I went over to her place for a visit and her husband asked us when we would finally take care of our lamas. I was shocked, Levi too. Our lamas? Levi got very upset with me, I saw it in his eyes, he turned to me contained as good as he could and asked me 'did you buy lamas?'. To that time we didn't have a house or property to hold any lifestock. It would have been not very thoughtful to buy them then. We also just moved to a new country and didn't have the money. I said no. He turned to Anne and asked: 'did my wife buy lamas?' Anne looked down and said 'no, but i bought them for her'. I just starred at her. I knew she wanted to do me a favour. She knew it was my childhood dream to own my own lamas. She also thought it was a very good price and she trusted the lady, who tipped her off on the deal. Later I found out, how people in our new town deal with each other, and Anne was known for trusting to quickly and easy to take advantage off. She paid at least double as much as the lamas were truely worth. Those people didn't even feel bad about it. When we confronted them later, we found out they believed Anne got to much money and they are entitle to get a piece of it. They don't see all the hours her husband is working and away from his family. Or grumpy for a lack of sleep. I found myself in a great dilemma. On one side I didn't want to get Anne into trouble, as her husband doesn't like lamas and sees them as money eating pests. On the other hand I didn't have a place to put them. Anne offered to leave them at her place until we got our own house. But I knew that I didn't want to be in a dependency on her as I knew I'm not a very submissive person. Also nothing was like before between us. It just smell like problems. I started looking all over the place for a little barn to put at least one of the lamas. I rang, went and met people, but all the ranches where booked or why too far out of the city. I talked to Levi and we agreed to buy one and leave it at Anne's place, praying that I would find another place soon. It also would take enough pressure of Anne for now. I was on one side very happy to own my first ever lama but on the other hand I felt overrun and pressured into something I wanted to choose for myself. My whole life I had to fight for everything and it was very humbeling that someone would think about me in that way too. My daugther liked one of the other lamas we picked up the other day with Anne. And with time we started thinking that we should take another one too. It's not good for them to live alone. Our lama was still together with the other one from the same place and the third one hadn't arrived yet. So we asked Anne if she considers selling this one to us too. She never said which one she chose for herself. Anne got furious how I even could ask her, if she would sell this one. It is hers and so on. I was taken back once more by her overreaction. But dad knew in the beginning that it wasn't the right one for us. Later I also learnt you shouldn't put male and female together. When I look back I thank him still for not being able to buy this one. 

Time went by and it worked quite well with having lamas at Anne's place. I also found more and more friends in town as I couldn't count on Anne anymore. She didn't keep promises and started to get busy with this other lady, she didn't even like. One of my new friends offered me to take the lamas to her place, she was living close by. I thanked her but as it worked well with Anne, I didn't want to change the arrangements for now.

Not in my wildest dreams could I've expected what followed next...