Dream Scheme (Pt. II)

continuation of previous and future dreams

Like thunder from the mightiest heavens

Collecting into a stagnant sea of energy

Abounded by the mysteries of clouds

Lost to the echoes of the ephemeral

Sleeping upon Bunktop hill

Starting to feel the chill

Of the wind and the rain

Storming upon my brain

Turning pages of ringing bells

Staring at the gates of Hell's

To be opened by the dreamer

To be closed by the dreamer

One can see that fog which within

Where castles flog the mountaintop

Like birds scratching the stratosphere

For their freedom wasn't enough

To sustain a vision of lasting

Eminence in a sky of gray clouds

As if words read aloud:

A key to unblock

A door to unlock

The flow of a vision of temptation

Fluttering before my eyes like dragonflies

As the caress and sweet touch of

Liberty slowly undressing herself

As if vying to soothe my wounds

As if trying to heal my discomforts

As the fog clears the mind fears

The revelations of dreams:

Not all is as it seems

- G.W. Saitreux

Author's Note

Any and all reviews are welcome(:

Reviews

[Lavi]

Not all is what is seems... such a classic line but you wrote it like you owned it. Amazing writing. The rhymes were intriguing because they weren't predictable and gave a wonderful visual as I read along this. Although I felt a bit like a perve with the liberty undressing part XD Haha, just kidding. Thanks for sharing.

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

No not all is as it seems, we hold the keys to unlocking great and hidden secrets for those who choose to keep find, all in time..,🌹

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thanks for the review and your wise words!

[lessa (kenzie)]

it's kinda different of what I usually read, but I enjoyed this. it's very nicely written and enjoyable

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thanks for the review!

[olympiuslu]

Wow you have used such beautiful and sensual images here! I feel as if these images themselves are written as if in the sequence of a dream, it is as if it takes us along with it and we follow it and wonder at it. Beautiful descriptions and leaves you with a sense of pleasure as if waking up from a nice dream, I love it!

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thanks for the review!

[Hailey Juliet]

Ok, I've read it a few times now and there are definitely a few parts that I'm still trying to knead something out of, that's on me, not you. The metaphors used in this are wonderful and really get the mind going in so many different directions which I think is great given the title of the piece. It might feel weird if it was completely linear.
These lines I absolutely adored:
"As the caress and sweet touch of
Liberty slowly undressing herself"

It was beautiful, sensual, and dreamlike. Liberty, compromised. I loved how each pair of lines felt like separate and disjointed thoughts, but were tied together loosely throughout the poem. I could take them in groups of six (give or take) or leave them in pairs. There was a sort of dream like freedom in this poem as a reader. I felt like you had a message to convey, a point to make, and yet I didn't feel like you held the reader to that point. I felt the freedom of the piece and it allowed me to take alot of it in my own way, my own dream scheme, or something:)

This was another great piece. I have not read pt. I so i will try to get around to that soon and see if and how that changes my reading of this piece. Thanks for sharing!

Hailey

[G.W. Saitreux]

Thanks for the review!