Present Self Perception.

                     


  


PRESENT SELF-PERCEPTION


State,O' state, at my state I weep;
That has filled my life with pains so deep.
'Tis a vicious circle of thoughts in mind,
And of nothingness in action, now and behind.

I long for that pen of mine,
Which silently made everything so much fine.
But for it's absence O Lord whom do I blame?
I have misplaced it through my deeds of shame!

What was I and what have I become?
Good for nothing, lazy and troublesome.
I compare my state with my peers,
And cannot control my flow of tears.........

But no! ,of these droplets of water, there is no use;
Because to work hard wisely, I did refuse.
For me, there are jokes, laughs and mocks.
A person who could never, never pull up his socks!

The value of time who never understood,
Thought that he would be spoon fed for good.
In almost all things ,he,now stands the last;
Forgetting everything,he just longs for the past.

Thoughts of his mind -full of little joy and pain,
Sometimes of this place, and sometimes of his own lane.
These Thoughts O Lord, make me think of the morrow;
Will this state bring me mere pain and sorrow?

I look at my face,which is devoid of any expression,
Yet within me ,there is a silent aggression.
This place has altered my own blaze;
There's been a tint of guilt in all the days.

All are busy to prove perfection at place yonder,
Yet on this thought, I feel, why do I ponder?
My journeys in thoughts, O' mother , tiring and futile,
Have rendered my inner-self, so weak and fragile.

But some thoughts O' dear, cannot be called so,
For they posses your glance, and then you go...........
And it does give me a moment of relief
But why this place doesn't let live my belief,
That I too can turn a new leaf;
And this , yes, is verily my fief ?

There's prolonged continuity of this dreadful state.
There's no compunction, although its so late.

Lord, O' Lord ,O' my dear Lord !, 'twas from You that I always sought,
Where's gone that strength which I from you got?

There ain't any answer, but, whilst I sleep,
I am driven into a region dark and deep.
A figure clad in white, a seraphic smile who had,
Neared me and spake, "Why art thou sad?,
Why dost the Lord thou interrogate?,
None, but thou art,responsible for thy state!
The strength of which thou dost speak,
Hast been weakened by the vain things thou seek.
Forget them hence, forget them now!
Don't wander asking why and how.
That about which thou art narked , let it be filched in His sight;
Force and set on the path that is right.
And He shall then fill bliss by His might....!"

And then .....it vanished, where I knew not,
I opened my eyes in a state of thought.
Recalled that what he at last spake,
"May it come true", this wish I make,
"May it come true",this wish I make!.












    
                      
 

Reviews

[Katie Flores]

your poem was soo... it drew me in, mirroring, by chance, how i am feeling. as i was reading tears were forming on my lids. the movement of the poem was so soft and gentle, like a guilty child creeping up to its mother to beg forgiveness for an offense. at first i was a little thrown off by your change in diction and syntax, but by the end of the poem it felt right. thank you for this. this is perhaps my favorite piece i have read.

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thanku dear katie :-)

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Aye the wish came true then - forgive my ignorance...

[Pax]

its a well done piece
i have to say the rhyming struck me..you manage to constantly used it..nicely done
you manage to hold on god in tough times even thought you doubt it something that it might not happen..life is just like that...its a challenge all the way..

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Aye, so give it ALL up in the end? Is that the lesson learned? Not sure I fully understand...Would love some more insight...

[Cathy Wattam]

A few mistakes here and there which I won't go into just now. Other than that, this is an intersting piece of writing. Full of sorrow, felt most deeply. I guess everyone goes through that at some time or other. The thing to remember is, it doesn't last forever and once you've picked yourself up and dusted yourself off, you can move on with lightness in your heart. Some very nicely written lines here, just watch the errors.

[Siddhartha]

Nicely penned and a true honest write. You have expressed yourself deeply here... Good work mate.

[reflectingus]

It's funny that I read this poem right now, because I was just taking a break from my studies :P Yes, certainly, I can relate. Sometimes it feels like there's no hope, no matter how hard you try, no matter how badly you want success, something's always stopping you, and it's grief, or for me, distractions. This poem is indeed deep introspection, I enjoyed the language, how you blended contemporary language to the art thou Shakespearean stuff. Also, the rhyme scheme made it catchy. When it comes to studies, yes, it is true, it's your responsibility, it's in your hands to do the best you can, it's very important to be determined. I'm trying very hard to cope up with my studies, and well, if it pays off, it's the best feeling. Just meet your short term goals, and have a positive mind. And pat yourself in the back once in a while, because no matter how much you may suck in studies, you certainly don't suck at writing.

[?]

hmmm...I got the feeling of writers block in this piece...or not being able to understand something...and then....
And then .....it vanished, where I knew not,
I opened my eyes in a state of thought.
Recalled that what he at last spake,
"May it come true", this wish I make,
"May it come true",this wish I make!.


And then you got IT!!

Very well written and penned my friend...Awesome

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

I agree with the other comments.
You deeply express yourself, and is well written :)
Great job.

Ashley Rivers--Dream BIG and you'll win BIG:)

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Before u review people...my physical health is absolutely fine!!!...........lol, its just thts iam unable to cope with my studies at present so am feeling low....rest everything is fine...))